Women and Real Estate

User Forum Topic
Submitted by PerryChase on August 16, 2007 - 12:24pm

I think that many middle class families will experience payment shock or bankruptcy thanks to women's nesting urges.

Women had the nesting urges and men wanted to make the quick bucks tinkering and flipping. Great combination for a bubble.

Here's an interesting LA Times article. I'm not sure what was so holistic about buying overpriced real estate.

--------

A woman sees the home in a house
Women often have the last word in buying, say experts analyzing how to sell to them.
By Diane Wedner, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
August 12, 2007

WHAT do women want?

Plenty, when buying a home. And how they go about finding the perfect palace often is as different from men's approach as, well, Venus is from Mars.

Women rely more heavily on their emotions and men deal with the facts, scientific research shows. And more often than not, experts say, women ultimately are the "deciders" in the choice of which home to buy and where.

"It's an old stereotype but true," said Richard Peterson, a psychiatrist who specializes in investment psychology. "Women access their emotional center," tapping into how they feel about a purchase. Men typically don't. Turns out, he added, those emotions lead to better decision-making.

http://www.latimes.com/classified/reales...

Submitted by lonestar2000 on August 16, 2007 - 12:41pm.

Do what I do, only show your wife properties that have past your screening. Then she decides to buy the property she likes best from the ones you're comfortable with buying.

Seriously, my wife is as concerned about finances as I am, so I guess I lucked out. We will not buy unless we're both happy with the property. We certainly have no shortage of choices now and time is on our side. The longer we wait the better off we'll be so we're certainly not in a hurry.

Submitted by Nancy_s soothsayer on August 16, 2007 - 12:45pm.

Yes, Perry, in my household universe, Nancy is the guiding ship of all things financial. Good thing I read and contribute to this blog while the mathematical-genius spouse sticks only to software engineering. Our net worth has only expanded so far guided by my trusty crystal ball. Nancy, a petite, Catherine Zeta-Jones Asian look-alike, is no reckless, bling-bling, wussy.

Submitted by JES on August 16, 2007 - 12:53pm.

Do a Myers Briggs personality test on your wife. If she comes back an STJ, narrow the choices down before getting her involved. She will want to look at what's in front of her, be analytical about it and close her options quickly. If she comes back an NFP, let her be the one who hunts and finds all the possibilities. then when it comes time to decide, send her to the kitchen to bake cookies...

Submitted by kagster on August 16, 2007 - 1:01pm.

The reason i let my wife make the all decision is because I don't like arguing with her. Here is your budget and stick to it. And yet, she comes back and asks "Sweety, what do you think of this?" or tries to drag me along shopping with her.

When we first bought our first home, i wanted to divorce her because we argued about every little thing. It gets tiring after a while. I'm practical and she's material. I like modern and she likes antique, especially "cherry" color. On and On.

If you're not married yet make sure you ask your other half to be about buying a house and what to furnish with it. It will save you a lot of headaches.

Submitted by Critter on August 16, 2007 - 1:20pm.

Blame your lender, blame your agent for encouraging you to buy "as much house as you can afford," blame your boss for not giving you a raise, and when all else fails... blame your wife for her "nesting urges" leading you to bankruptcy.

Submitted by Enorah on August 16, 2007 - 2:15pm.

I can not believe people are still saying sexist and polarizing crap like that and then putting it in print, with their names on it.

Well she is a woman after all. Her heart said, "Go on publish this dribble" while her head was obviously getting her nails done.

:SCREAM:

Submitted by Wickedheart on August 16, 2007 - 2:18pm.

You're a pretty smart critter. My husband who I can assure you does exactly as he wishes loves to tell people he did or didn't do something because of the big, bad wifey. I don't mind it at all because I can play that game too.

Submitted by SDowner on August 16, 2007 - 2:21pm.

Agree with Nancy Soothsayer, totally.

Priorities in life are determined by circumstances, education, and environment, not by sex. I am a woman, but my husband is more attached to our hosue than I am. Everyone has some % of emotion and practicality when buying a house.

SDowner

Submitted by stansd on August 16, 2007 - 2:22pm.

JES,

This is hilarious. As an STJ who is married to an NFP, it gives me much food for thought....only catch, is that she'd get overwhelmed with all the possibilities.

Stan

Submitted by JC on August 16, 2007 - 2:43pm.

Normally, the comments on this board are super informative and I feel like I get valuable info here.

The LA Times article was interesting and somewhat informative. However, the initial assessment of the article was trite and sexist.

I've got to say that I'm a little surprised. I expect better from Piggington's!

Submitted by lniles on August 16, 2007 - 3:02pm.

I'm surprised as well. In my personal experience, the woman I was with did NOT want to buy (it was me who wanted a nest). Stereotypes won't stick.

I'm sure a lot of marriages will be affected by the coming storm though.

Submitted by condogrrl on August 16, 2007 - 3:19pm.

Considering the antagonism some men have toward women, I'm surprised that those men are married to women. It seems like they would be happier as homosexuals, mated with their own kind.

Submitted by Nancy_s soothsayer on August 16, 2007 - 3:23pm.

Thank you, SDowner.

My spouse appreciates very much that I am very conservative and practical with our finances. Compared to him, I am a cheapskate. I try my best to cook all our delicious meals to avoid eating out, for example. I penny-pinch, period. However, I give way to the joys of HIS life too, like his brand-new 1100-cc Honda Shadow we bought for cash, for him to "save gas" (yeah, right....)

But maybe there is truth that sometimes the wife has more of a need to keep up with the Joneses. There are exceptions like us, of course - (they call us the weirdos, ha-ha.)

Submitted by lniles on August 16, 2007 - 3:58pm.

Haha Nancy I have the Shadow 750... also to "save gas". :)

Submitted by JPJones on August 16, 2007 - 4:50pm.

PerryChase,

I'm pretty sure (read: Hope to god!) you don't have kids yet, but are you married? It sure doesn't sound like it. While there might be cases where the article's point is valid, to generalize that women have that much control in a successful marriage is way off-base.

JP

Submitted by PerryChase on August 16, 2007 - 5:20pm.

As the regulars here know, I'm a proud card carrying liberal. And I support equal pay for women and other women's causes.

I didn't mean to be sexist. But I do think that there's truth to this. I've seen a lot of women influence home purchases. I also see men who are executives but have to check with their wives for everything -- like dinner on Friday. Maybe it's just the people I know.

This is a sensitive issue but I'd be willing to bet that, if asked, Realtors would confirm this in confidence (so as not to offend their biggest customers).

For what it's worth, I don't think it's something inherent in the female sex, but it's how women are socialized.

I think that men were also complicit in creating this bubble because they thought they could do little a sweat equity and become rich. Make the wife happy by giving her the house she wants; a little paint and elbow grease and the family gets to move on and on up the property ladder.

In a declining or stagnant market, my suspicion is that husbands would more likely restain their wives' nesting urges (or the other way around as some posters wrote).

Submitted by ucodegen on August 16, 2007 - 6:34pm.

"It's an old stereotype but true," said Richard Peterson, a psychiatrist who specializes in investment psychology. "Women access their emotional center," tapping into how they feel about a purchase. Men typically don't. Turns out, he added, those emotions lead to better decision-making.

When enough people do the same thing, it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy... until the market behavior shifts. This is why "technical analysis" works for quite a while until it doesn't, at which time it fails spectacularly. Witness also all the 'models' that companies were using for investment in CDOs and MBS(s).

Submitted by TheBreeze on August 16, 2007 - 7:22pm.

"Considering the antagonism some men have toward women, I'm surprised that those men are married to women. It seems like they would be happier as homosexuals, mated with their own kind."

If I'm not mistaken, PC has admitted to a special affection for the brown eye.

Submitted by citydweller on August 17, 2007 - 12:07am.

Pardon my ignorance, but what do STJ and NFP stand for?

Submitted by CardiffBaseball on August 17, 2007 - 2:10am.

Perry and I probably could not be more different politically speaking, but he is correct, and this is not some wild stretch.

Anyone who has followed Ben's blog with any regularity knows that what Perry posted is an ongoing theme over there. Anecdotal story after anecdotal story, about big dumb lug, who can't say no the wife. In my 16 years of marriage (started at 22), my wife wins most every battle, because, frankly, I just don't care about that much.

However I had to basically tell her a few times to "sit down and shut up" as regards her nesting instinct. (We moved here two years ago).

Now when I say "sit down and shut up" I don't mean it literally, as she'd probably kick my ass. (she does crossfit with some navy seal dude). What I meant was a continual education process about just how stupid a mistake it would be to purchase, and eventually she trusted my stubborness.

She also sees the emotional side of a home more than I though many on this site do not fit that stereotype. We had to eat about 9K when I sold my house in Ohio (Nov. 2005) and at closing I had to sell some stock to pay the note. I was hoping to hold onto that stock for the long term but it was the only non retirement account investment that I had.

I hurt her feelings by saying something along the lines of "buying that house was the absolute stupidest thing I have ever done". Of course I loved that house too, but I was just bitter about losing my only real asset. She saw it as her dream home (still pissed at me for moving us out here), where the kids had so many great memories, and in the case of our youngest it's the only other home he remembers outside of the crapbox we rent now.

Submitted by OC Burns on August 17, 2007 - 7:43am.

Doesn't this mean that women are responsible for the housing crisis? If they had only let the men make all the decisions, none of this would have happened.

Submitted by kiki on August 17, 2007 - 8:29am.

OC Burns, for it to be true (if women are responsible) the mayority of sales should be people buying homes to live in, but isn't this bubble built on pure speculation and flipping mania. Can you prove that mayority of flippers are women?

Submitted by buyorhold on August 17, 2007 - 8:30am.

"The LA Times article was interesting and somewhat informative. However, the initial assessment of the article was trite and sexist."

I totally agree, this type of comment is extremely sexist and embarassing to Piggington's.

I, the wife, am the one that has been ultra-conservation about buying in the current market.

Submitted by one_muggle on August 17, 2007 - 9:14am.

I totally agree, this type of comment is extremely sexist and embarassing to Piggington's.
I, the wife, am the one that has been ultra-conservation about buying in the current market.

Don't get upset sweetie, just calm down and be quiet (tongue-in-cheek AND ducking)

Seriously, this is foolishness. One female colleague of mine has been investing in RE for about 20yrs. She can buy&sell most of us now and only works for fun. Somehow I doubt she was overly emotional during her business dealings. Another (female) relative is on wallstreet and handles bond issues for multi-billion corporate ventures--like starting new semiconductor plants in Vietnam. I do recall her being emotional just after the birth of her first son, and throwing a hysterical fit when we couldn't locate her husband during 9/11--so I guess that is emotional. But cross her in business and she'll set your stones in a vice. I won't even play Monopoly with her. ;^)

-one muggle

Submitted by Fearful on August 17, 2007 - 9:19am.

Considering the antagonism some women have toward men, I'm surprised that those women are married to men. It seems like they would be happier as homosexuals, mated with their own kind.

Submitted by housingfreefall on August 17, 2007 - 9:27am.

Frankly, this post suprised me not becaue it stereo-typed women, but because some posters are indicating it is their wife's pursuasion that makes it difficult to stay out of this falling market.....
Guys, a power house women can both sooth a man and support his endeavors, read the WSJ, invests in stocks, earn 6 figures, research up and coming emerging markets and cook, while inspiring and supporting the dreams of her family. If you did not choose this type of women well guys psychology points out it is not the women but instead your own sence of self that causes you to choose a weaker partner..umm food for thought!!!

Submitted by CardiffBaseball on August 17, 2007 - 1:19pm.

If this is the only blog you read I understand how you might think this is sexist talk. However at Ben Jones site you cannot ignore the consistent anecdotal stories that come through regarding the theme.

Hell Century 21 capitalized.

Suzanne Researched this!!!

One of the most logical "chick" posters (I say chick because it's her handle) over there at Ben's site is constantly bashing her own sex because she sees this mentality.

I don't think anyone is trying to say that "all women" act in this manner.

By the way there are probably just as many simpleton "dudes" who think RE only goes up.

Submitted by jztz on August 17, 2007 - 2:26pm.

I love the comments regarding "STJ" and "NFP" wives! Maybe it's true that more women make decisions based on feelings (relative to men), but that's what make the world an interesting place.

For someone who asked - this is basically Meyers-Briggs personality typing. It's not easy to explain it in detail, but I'll give it a try.

S(sensing) v.s. N (intuitive) -- how people processing informations. Sensing people use their senses, and tend to be concrete and focuses on specific. Intuitives are more about ideas, concepts and tend to be abstract and focus on principles. These two types often would have communication problems because literally they're on different wavelength.

T(Thinking) v.s. F (Feeling) - how people makes decisions. Thinking people are rational and make decisions based on facts and logic; Feeling people make decisions based on, you get it, emotional signals. Thinking people generally are more in engineering, science, business; while Feeling in marketing, psychology, nursing, etc.

P(Perceiving) v.s. J (Judging) - how people deal with time. Perceiving type acts like observers, and they move along time without too much a hurry (they procrastinate and often be late). Judging type likes to bring things to conclusions and more likely to be goal oriented.

Another dimension is I (Introvert) v.s. E (Extrovert) - where people tend to get energy. Introvert brings the world into their head to process, and tend to get exhausted after socialzing; extravert embrace the world, and get energized from being with other people.

With these 4 characteristics, there are 16 combinations. It's fasicinating stuff. I re-read my M-B stuff several years back, and you really can see how a person functions if you observe well.

And, yes, I believe that more women are feeling type than thinking type. To me, it's a good thing if you think about it. Wouldn't be BORING had it been otherwise?

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