Should we stay or should we go?

User Forum Topic
Submitted by masayako on April 4, 2021 - 10:23pm

Hi guys, it's been a long time since I posted here. To make a long story short, I am seeking some advice from real estates gurus here.

Family of 4. I am in my mid-40s now, net worth is about $30M or so. Because of my investment and stock options, I should reach about $60-$70M in 5 yrs or so. By then, I intend to buy a dream house (~$10M). My question is: I think I will quit my job by then and plan for early retirement, so it matters if I should stay in SD or move to a lower-cost state. Thoughts?

I think I can afford to live in SD. However, the housing price is getting so ridiculously high that I feel like I am getting so much more outside of CA. Also, I worry about CA state tax and business tax which makes it even more appealing to leave CA.

Sorry, I am rambling. I suppose I want to hear what you think if you were in my shoes. Should we stay or should we leave CA?

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2021 - 9:31am.

sdrealtor][quote=flyer][quote=masayako wrote:
flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.

So what would your advice be to your tenants with an empty space in their souls?

Any home no matter how small can have a little space for meditation with an altar.

Submitted by Hobie on April 7, 2021 - 9:34am.

masayako wrote:
but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill

This is your limiting factor. IMHO, with this mind set you can never be satisfied. It's not about taxes.

Once you figure out why you have this need for mega home, you might have a change in attitude.

IMHO, buy yourself a couple of modest homes in places you like. As mentioned, enjoy your family as life ends too quickly.

Enrich your life by mentoring young people as you have the gift of making money. Watching them grow and succeed will give you more satisfaction that sitting on a yacht or in a mega home. Become an Angel investor.

Serious post. Good Luck.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2021 - 9:48am.

flyer wrote:
masayako wrote:
flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

We also live in other places, but still keep our dream home here. Granted, if you waited to purchase your dream home or other properties until now, they, and taxes, are going to be a lot more expensive than they were in the past. Meeting the requirements to keep a tax base in another state or country is something you might want to investigate. There are (legal) ways to have the best of all worlds.

We also have lots of family here, kids, friends etc., and take care of several family members who need care, vs. placing them in facilities. We have them taken care of in the way we would want to be treated, and are glad to do it. A few hugs a day means more to them than any amount of money every could.

Even with the best diet, exercise and mental health aspects of life covered, when you see how life can change on a dime wrt one's health, it's clear that making the most of what you have each day is the best way to go, and I wish you the best in your quest.

Thank you so much for the advice. My in-laws will go with us if we decide to move out of CA. They are being very flexible. I completely agree with you that it boils down to where you want to be and what we are willing to scarifice (friends in CA etc). It's so hard.

Glad to know my thoughts were helpful, but please, don't construe them as advice, because it's best that you make your own decisions. That said, here are a few more thoughts:

I think the reason you are having such a hard time with this, is that you really do feel a strong attachment to CA and all that only it has to offer, yet, you also feel pragmatically compelled to evaluate the financial realities of staying in CA.

One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.

If you find the home and location you can't live without in CA, vs. elsewhere, run the numbers long term, and even if the home is more than the equivalent elsewhere, including taxes, property taxes, etc. if you feel you can afford it, it would seem you have your answer. Other than what you wish to leave to your family and/or friends, leaving multiple millions on the table would not seem necessary. Again, just my thoughts.

We had a few odd moments when living in our downtown condo, looking down at homeless folk, being woken up by their occasional tirade.

I watched a homeless lady meticulously cleaning her feet by the gutter from the balcony for 30 minutes.

Time for me to tuck into bed! Take one last look at those dudes flat on the cold concrete! Night nite! Sleep tite! Seriousy dont let the bedbugs bite!

Me, I need finer sheets. I think my soul needs a better thread count!

I felt sort of bad, but frankly, my soul felt sort of good for feeling bad. Also of course, theres the relief im not them. A cautionary tale of not getting with The Program.

I watched an ancient dude enjoying the hell out of a can of coke. Youd think he never had a drink of soda in his life. Was he just acting? But if so, for who? He hadnt seen me watching. SO much gusto.

Dude had soul.

Perhaps my true dream home needs to be surrounded by the destitute, ot least lesser blessed, for comparison purpose. Perhaps a mansion surrounded by a trailer park, or a castle ringed with beggars.

What about that house in Parasite. I liked that one! The way we express our souls in the usa is consumption, so dont be cheap...

Submitted by Coronita on April 7, 2021 - 12:43pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:
flyer wrote:
masayako wrote:
flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

We also live in other places, but still keep our dream home here. Granted, if you waited to purchase your dream home or other properties until now, they, and taxes, are going to be a lot more expensive than they were in the past. Meeting the requirements to keep a tax base in another state or country is something you might want to investigate. There are (legal) ways to have the best of all worlds.

We also have lots of family here, kids, friends etc., and take care of several family members who need care, vs. placing them in facilities. We have them taken care of in the way we would want to be treated, and are glad to do it. A few hugs a day means more to them than any amount of money every could.

Even with the best diet, exercise and mental health aspects of life covered, when you see how life can change on a dime wrt one's health, it's clear that making the most of what you have each day is the best way to go, and I wish you the best in your quest.

Thank you so much for the advice. My in-laws will go with us if we decide to move out of CA. They are being very flexible. I completely agree with you that it boils down to where you want to be and what we are willing to scarifice (friends in CA etc). It's so hard.

Glad to know my thoughts were helpful, but please, don't construe them as advice, because it's best that you make your own decisions. That said, here are a few more thoughts:

I think the reason you are having such a hard time with this, is that you really do feel a strong attachment to CA and all that only it has to offer, yet, you also feel pragmatically compelled to evaluate the financial realities of staying in CA.

One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.

If you find the home and location you can't live without in CA, vs. elsewhere, run the numbers long term, and even if the home is more than the equivalent elsewhere, including taxes, property taxes, etc. if you feel you can afford it, it would seem you have your answer. Other than what you wish to leave to your family and/or friends, leaving multiple millions on the table would not seem necessary. Again, just my thoughts.

We had a few odd moments when living in our downtown condo, looking down at homeless folk, being woken up by their occasional tirade.

I watched a homeless lady meticulously cleaning her feet by the gutter from the balcony for 30 minutes.

Time for me to tuck into bed! Take one last look at those dudes flat on the cold concrete! Night nite! Sleep tite! Seriousy dont let the bedbugs bite!

Me, I need finer sheets. I think my soul needs a better thread count!

I felt sort of bad, but frankly, my soul felt sort of good for feeling bad. Also of course, theres the relief im not them. A cautionary tale of not getting with The Program.

I watched an ancient dude enjoying the hell out of a can of coke. Youd think he never had a drink of soda in his life. Was he just acting? But if so, for who? He hadnt seen me watching. SO much gusto.

Dude had soul.

Perhaps my true dream home needs to be surrounded by the destitute, ot least lesser blessed, for comparison purpose. Perhaps a mansion surrounded by a trailer park, or a castle ringed with beggars.

What about that house in Parasite. I liked that one! The way we express our souls in the usa is consumption, so dont be cheap...

I see more miserable rich people trying to one up each other versus happier poorer people, who don't give a shit. lol. Some people haven't figured that out yet. Pity.

Submitted by flyer on April 7, 2021 - 12:45pm.

So many great thoughts from everyone. Hopefully the OP will find the answers he is looking for.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2021 - 2:38pm.

feng shui for toilets.

mattress issues as related to dream life.

tax considerations.

life is tricky.

Submitted by svelte on April 7, 2021 - 8:21pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:
feng shui for toilets.

mattress issues as related to dream life.

tax considerations.

life is tricky.

Your mattress talk started me thinking about a new mattress. Ours is about a decade old now.

So I started poking around online. Holy cow has the mattress world changed in the last decade. I guess I should have noticed when we bought the grandkids memory foam mattresses. At the time I thought that was a sliver of the market.

But no - memory foam has taken over! They don't even make our Beautyrest Elite any more. Now Beautyrests have names like "Black", "Harmony Lux Diamond", "Harmony Lux Carbon". All of them at least partially memory foam.

I won't be able to walk in, plunk down my money and buy the usual. I'm actually going to have to do research.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2021 - 9:50pm.

svelte wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:
feng shui for toilets.

mattress issues as related to dream life.

tax considerations.

life is tricky.

Your mattress talk started me thinking about a new mattress. Ours is about a decade old now.

So I started poking around online. Holy cow has the mattress world changed in the last decade. I guess I should have noticed when we bought the grandkids memory foam mattresses. At the time I thought that was a sliver of the market.

But no - memory foam has taken over! They don't even make our Beautyrest Elite any more. Now Beautyrests have names like "Black", "Harmony Lux Diamond", "Harmony Lux Carbon". All of them at least partially memory foam.

I won't be able to walk in, plunk down my money and buy the usual. I'm actually going to have to do research.

Avocadogreen mattresses

Submitted by svelte on April 8, 2021 - 6:38am.

scaredyclassic wrote:

Avocadogreen mattresses

I don't think those will work for me. I need a very firm mattress and the firmest listed on the Avocado site is Medium-Firm (7.5 on a scale 1-10).

As an example of how firm I need, before the Elite our favorite mattress brand was called the Sealy Granite.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2021 - 7:04am.

svelte wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:

Avocadogreen mattresses

I don't think those will work for me. I need a very firm mattress and the firmest listed on the Avocado site is Medium-Firm (7.5 on a scale 1-10).

As an example of how firm I need, before the Elite our favorite mattress brand was called the Sealy Granite.

Homes should be rated for firmness.

Submitted by Coronita on April 8, 2021 - 8:08am.

svelte wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:

Avocadogreen mattresses

I don't think those will work for me. I need a very firm mattress and the firmest listed on the Avocado site is Medium-Firm (7.5 on a scale 1-10).

As an example of how firm I need, before the Elite our favorite mattress brand was called the Sealy Granite.

Sterns and Fosters still make coil mattresses and they have a ultra firm line. Not that much more than top of the line Sealy.

Usually, i like to go cheap on things..hence my strong loliking of Harbor Freight. Shit, half my tool collection is probably Harbor Freight.

But when it comes to sleep, and considering you spend 8+hours each day on it, I personally dont like to go cheap on a mattress.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 8, 2021 - 9:14am.

After all these years and now we are finally "going to the mattresses"

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2021 - 9:47am.

strangely, my best sleeping is done flat on the floor, on a rug, but only in midday. At night, sadly, I need a mattress. i rarely nap in bed, but I (almost) never spend the night on the floor. for naps, I prefer to dramatically collapse when sleep overcomes me. too tired to go on...must.. sleep...body falls to floor.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2021 - 9:44am.

sdrealtor wrote:
After all these years and now we are finally "going to the mattresses"

i wonder if there's a market for a bulletproof mattress. kind of a home safety item, with gun vault. press a button, presto, barricade against home intruders. maybe a little gun turret.

Submitted by gzz on April 8, 2021 - 10:05am.

svelte maybe you shouldn't get a memory foam if your current one is 10 years old.

mine I just checked from my amazon history is only 4.5 years old and needs replaced soon. it will still be a backup in storage in case I get a lot of house guests.

I simply like memory foam better. It is cozy and you can get in and out of bed without jostling your bedmate(s).

8 inch is too thin. between 10 and 12 inch it becomes a question of looks, they don't feel different. the 12 inch looks a little nicer and you may prefer to be a little higher up.

I really like this model of bedframe with my foamies. Cheap, easy to assemble and move around, and lots of under bed storage room since it is 14 inches high.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00H...

Submitted by gzz on April 8, 2021 - 10:07am.

"bulletproof mattress"

Well when my net worth broke 50m I invested in a panic room. You can blast it with a shotgun and I won't even hear it when I am inside.

Make sure you get a bathroom in your panic room. It becomes a nice quiet place to play on your phone away from the bustle elsewhere in the house.

Submitted by an on April 8, 2021 - 11:37am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
sdrealtor wrote:
After all these years and now we are finally "going to the mattresses"

i wonder if there's a market for a bulletproof mattress. kind of a home safety item, with gun vault. press a button, presto, barricade against home intruders. maybe a little gun turret.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W-EcuKx...

Submitted by Coronita on April 8, 2021 - 11:45am.

an wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:
sdrealtor wrote:
After all these years and now we are finally "going to the mattresses"

i wonder if there's a market for a bulletproof mattress. kind of a home safety item, with gun vault. press a button, presto, barricade against home intruders. maybe a little gun turret.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W-EcuKxykM&ab_channel=Insider

That is so awesome! I can totally see myself getting one because I'm a prepper...

I'd like to build my own end of the world bomb shelter.

Meanwhile, I guess I'll just have to prep for drive by shootings and anti-asian terrorist attacks..

https://www.texasarmoring.com/portfolio-...

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2021 - 3:01pm.

an wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:
sdrealtor wrote:
After all these years and now we are finally "going to the mattresses"

i wonder if there's a market for a bulletproof mattress. kind of a home safety item, with gun vault. press a button, presto, barricade against home intruders. maybe a little gun turret.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W-EcuKxykM&ab_channel=Insider

i would be unable to sleep in such a bed. a malfunction would scar me forever. also, I think I'd rather just risk the earthquake. but it is absolutely amazing. any "dream home" over 10 million not equipped with this is justa lowlife dump

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 9, 2021 - 9:32am.

Perhaps the best house is one where you sleep best.

If i had 30 million, and bought a 10 million house, im left with 20 million.

What if the market tanks 60%, i have 8 million and a 10 million house thats worth say half.

Sure, the market will likely rebound, but who knows when. Suddenly im waking up in the middle of the night. The house sucks! Im irritable, groggy.

Bad for sleep

Plan b. Sleep in a 2 million house, with an awesome mattress.

live off 4 perc of 28 million,

1.1 million a year, say 800k after taxes a year, not superrich but definitely conducive to deep sleep.

buy a lot of help with that. truly able to relax in freedom.

No worries! Great for sleep!

Money is only truly wonderful if you slept the night before. Ergo, having a mere 30 million, the 2 million house is far better than the 10 million house.

If you have 150 million, then you can sleep well in a 10 million house.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 9, 2021 - 9:42am.

That budget would not support my meat boxes

Submitted by gzz on April 9, 2021 - 10:11am.

I went with this $221 mattress. Will it support my massive 60M net girth? Wish me luck.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B08H...

It is not a fun shopping experience.

Every single best selling mattress on Amazon is highly rated overall but has a few "It stinks and is lumpy and broke my back" reviews.

How to choose?

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 9, 2021 - 11:46am.

gzz wrote:
I went with this $221 mattress. Will it support my massive 60M net girth? Wish me luck.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B08H...

It is not a fun shopping experience.

Every single best selling mattress on Amazon is highly rated overall but has a few "It stinks and is lumpy and broke my back" reviews.

How to choose?

The herd is generally right on mattresses. True wealth really is, after basics are met, deep sleep, amazing poops, vitality, and peace of mind. Only took me 60 years to figure this out.

Im wealthy beyond measure!

Submitted by Coronita on April 9, 2021 - 12:21pm.

You guys are looking at this all wrong. My senior IOS engineer in Florida did the most awesome.

The moment he started working from home since lockdown, he went out with his wife and bought a GulfStream Conquest Class C motorhome with a Starlink satellite beta test account... He works out of his GulfStream and occasionally sleeps in the driveway with it.

Total Prepper awesomeness.

Submitted by Coronita on April 9, 2021 - 12:22pm.

gzz wrote:
I went with this $221 mattress. Will it support my massive 60M net girth? Wish me luck.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B08H...

It is not a fun shopping experience.

Every single best selling mattress on Amazon is highly rated overall but has a few "It stinks and is lumpy and broke my back" reviews.

How to choose?

Actually, i think this a "let me try...oops I don't like it... Oh well, we will refund you the money don't send it back" amazon purchase....

Submitted by spdrun on April 11, 2021 - 11:07am.

You NEED to spend at least 183 days per year in FLA to claim residency and document it with plane tickets and credit card charges proving you were there

At $30 million net worth, you can hire someone to drive cross-country twice a year for you and put $1000/mo on your credit card :) I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of "Florida (wo)men" do so.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.