Should we stay or should we go?

User Forum Topic
Submitted by masayako on April 4, 2021 - 10:23pm

Hi guys, it's been a long time since I posted here. To make a long story short, I am seeking some advice from real estates gurus here.

Family of 4. I am in my mid-40s now, net worth is about $30M or so. Because of my investment and stock options, I should reach about $60-$70M in 5 yrs or so. By then, I intend to buy a dream house (~$10M). My question is: I think I will quit my job by then and plan for early retirement, so it matters if I should stay in SD or move to a lower-cost state. Thoughts?

I think I can afford to live in SD. However, the housing price is getting so ridiculously high that I feel like I am getting so much more outside of CA. Also, I worry about CA state tax and business tax which makes it even more appealing to leave CA.

Sorry, I am rambling. I suppose I want to hear what you think if you were in my shoes. Should we stay or should we leave CA?

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 6:03pm.

If you're a car nut like me. You have no concept of USD. You count your money in per miata units...

For instance. Wow, that person is wealthy. He's worth 841 miatas, 319 sets of 200 tread tires, and 350 corner balances.

I'm sure wine snobs can do the same measurements in bottles of wine.

Submitted by flyer on April 5, 2021 - 6:31pm.

OP, I also should have mentioned that there are many in CA and, specifically, in San Diego, in a similar financial position to yourself--so it's not that rare anymore--just enjoy it!

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 7:03pm.

Yes, because flyer, obviously you need to keep reminding everyone about the money you inherited here, because you arent in the elon musk Billionaire club. Damn, cant fit get into the exclusive B clubs, got to stoop down to us mere plebians here in a free blog....Underachiever! No Hermes bag for you!

Submitted by zk on April 5, 2021 - 7:39pm.

sdrealtor wrote:
Its not as easy as buying a house in FLA and claiming residence there. I have many friends going through this right now. You NEED to spend at least 183 days per year in FLA to claim residency and document it with plane tickets and credit card charges proving you were there. You wanna be a FLA resident? You have to actually live there then

I have a friend in the same boat. He lives in his house near Tahoe for summer (and surrounding months) and in his house in Encinitas the rest of the year. He likes it, but I think if he could find a way around it, he might occasionally take advantage of it. If anybody is aware of some kind of trick or loophole, I'd be interested to hear it.

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 7:44pm.

Sorry, i only know about the trick you can use to get around doing biannual smog inspections without using an out of state license plate. Im poor. I only know poor people tricks.

Submitted by masayako on April 5, 2021 - 8:04pm.

I don‘t think I have said anything ’trollish‘. If so, I apologize in advance.

Submitted by masayako on April 5, 2021 - 8:06pm.

Not much of a car nut. Alright, maybe a little. I have 4 cars, 2 of them I considered collectibles...

Submitted by masayako on April 5, 2021 - 8:09pm.

Thanks. I think the core of my question is: I find it so much more affordable outside of CA (Neveda, Colorado, Idaho, UT). I am seriously considered moving out because money seems to go further. I am not crazy enough to consider moving out of US for the sake of tax reasons, I just pond if moving out of CA is a wiser decision long term. Thoughts are welcome. It‘s a 5 yrs plan.

Submitted by masayako on April 5, 2021 - 8:14pm.

Funny, I did consider Tahoe (in NV). BUT, a BIG BUT, IRS is forcusing on folks living in that interesting zone because apparently, lots of well-off living in Tahoe (in NV side) and yet maintaining a business in CA. So, IRS is laser focus on those big houses there. I do not want to be on that list.

It‘s good until IRS have their eyes on them.

Submitted by masayako on April 5, 2021 - 8:23pm.

If it appears to be too much of a 1st world problem, I apologize. I have no intention to show off. I really want to know what people at this stage in life (in a similar situation) would do.

Back to the topic: That‘s my current thinking. Instead of having to pay $10m for my dream house, I can get a similar house outside of CA for $5m or even $3m. That’s the main trigger on why we are considering to move outside of CA. Property tax $100k vs $30k annually is a huge difference. Also, traffic in SD is getting worse and worse, I just want to live in a smaller city.

Submitted by masayako on April 5, 2021 - 8:39pm.

I appreciate your comment. It‘s not just money, but I have lived here half my life, I just visited the pacific northwest & kind of fall in love with it. I love the rains, the forrest and the outdoors there. Here are some Pros & Cons for staying in SD.

Pros:
1. Friends here
2. Kids already settled down
3. Some relatives here

Cons:
1. It gets too hot... no rain
2. Unfriendly business tax & laws (it looks like it will get worse)
3. Crazy housing price
4. Bad traffic
5. Too crowded

I am constantly thinking about this topic. During this Covid-19 pandemic, I guess I have lots of time to think about what I want to do next. Do I want to keep working? Do I want to spend more time with family? Where to go? Or stayput? Moving out of CA is something always in my mind. Hence, I bring it up here to discuss.

Submitted by flyer on April 5, 2021 - 9:12pm.

All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

We also live in other places, but still keep our dream home here. Granted, if you waited to purchase your dream home or other properties until now, they, and taxes, are going to be a lot more expensive than they were in the past. Meeting the requirements to keep a tax base in another state or country is something you might want to investigate. There are (legal) ways to have the best of all worlds.

We also have lots of family here, kids, friends etc., and take care of several family members who need care, vs. placing them in facilities. We have them taken care of in the way we would want to be treated, and are glad to do it. A few hugs a day means more to them than any amount of money every could.

Even with the best diet, exercise and mental health aspects of life covered, when you see how life can change on a dime wrt one's health, it's clear that making the most of what you have each day is the best way to go, and I wish you the best in your quest.

Submitted by Coronita on April 6, 2021 - 7:45am.

I had to look up what was all that fuss about the reference to the landing thr helicopter and Screaming Eagle. Holy shit. I thought folks were kidding this was a real thread.lol.

I plan on selling my house next month...I was planning to list it for $10million. But I'll give a specisl pigg discount of $9.999999999999 meellion and we can skip the mls

You can even land a helicopter in the park nearby that is walking distant.

Submitted by Hobie on April 6, 2021 - 8:01am.

gzz wrote:
Vegan Van Life

Had no idea this was such a popular thing. I'd be shunned as I would have a smoking bbq going!

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2021 - 8:22am.

gzz wrote:
my life partner is a Vegan Van Life instagramm-thinkfluencer. Google it.

I'm glad my driveway has "RV Parking" like all the home listings say.

It would be very satisfying IMO to be an ultra wealthy semihomeless guy.

Maybe all dream homes are our past homes.

What happens inside a dream home? Nothing different than a non dream home.

A cat peed on our mattress. Ugh. Thinking of going all out on a new one for the actual dream part of my home. Avocado green mattresses are top rated in consumer reports. Pricey, but it would be my literal dream home.

Anyone have experience with super high end mattresses? Id like to spend as much as possible. I am hopeful that a 2k plus mattress will improve my life more than a 10 mill. House. All that wonderful deep restorative sleep. Organic wool. Hand tufted, whatever that means. Organic and so forth.

Although i am dreaming of better dreams, likely my best sleep has already happened in my youth.

:(

Submitted by gzz on April 6, 2021 - 11:13am.

The $300 foam mattresses on Amazon seem to be as comfortable as the $2500 temperpedic ones they used to have on display at the mall.

After 15 years of sleeping on cheap foam mattresses, I am a permanent convert and have them in all bedrooms.

I am about to buy a new one, the old $300 amazon mattress is getting a little worn down and sweat stained. The nice thing about the $300 one is that you don't have to feel so bad about tossing it when there's a pet accident on it.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2021 - 12:08pm.

right, consumer reports bears out what you are saying for foam, tempurpedic rated lower than cheap foam.

however, in the organic wool, alpaca topped virgin latex ethereal dreamworld realm of mattress, consumer reports gives them a higher rating on all categories than mere plebeian foam.

look, I'd be fine with a foam mattress. we've been sleeping on a $100 foam guy I bought off amazon that smelled like an oil refinery and made my wife angry. Id go foam all day long. all night long too.

but I'm looking for something special for the aching wife. something dreamy. a mattress handmade for kings. our dream mattress....money is no object. up toa point. let's say, 5k for the mattress.. after that, i'm going to need a really good sales pitch.

Submitted by Coronita on April 6, 2021 - 12:09pm.

Isn't foam mattresses though suppose to be stain resistant? I mean, that's why I thought was one of the selling points of a foam mattress for those unexpected accidents.... Of course I mean pet accidents....

I tried the purple thing. Did not like...Stayed with coils...

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2021 - 12:17pm.

Coronita wrote:
Isn't foam mattresses though suppose to be stain resistant? I mean, that's why I thought was one of the selling points of a foam mattress for those unexpected accidents.... Of course I mean pet accidents....

I tried the purple thing. Did not like...Stayed with coils...

no, it's just a hunk of absorbent foam. you could buy a cover though. mines pretty thin and cheap, but it really is comfy compared to, say, the floor.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that on a per dollar ratioed basis, the satisfaction from a good mattress far exceeds the satsifaction from a 10 million home.

teh reviews on the avocadogreen mattress website were howlingly over the top. My wife was hysterically laughing. each reveiw was more wildly enthusiastic than the next.

to the OP, I'd say the real issue, is what mattress will you buy, not which state will you live in. i wonder what the limit is on custom mattresses. A guy like you really needs a 100k mattress... also, linen pajamas. those have really improved my life. and good slippers! dont forget high quality slippers! check out the slippers at softstar.com that's about everything you'll need.

Submitted by Hobie on April 6, 2021 - 12:17pm.

I bought an off shelf hand made queen from Escondido Mattress a dozen or more years ago. Wasn't remarkable, but still in use today. I don't know if the old guy ( kinda crodgity dude )still runs the place but it might be somewhere close to have a custom one made.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2021 - 12:29pm.

Hobie wrote:
I bought an off shelf hand made queen from Escondido Mattress a dozen or more years ago. Wasn't remarkable, but still in use today. I don't know if the old guy ( kinda crodgity dude )still runs the place but it might be somewhere close to have a custom one made.

Chuang Tzu dreamed that he was a butterfly.
All day long, he floated on the breeze
Without a thought of who he was or where he was going.

When he awoke, Chuang Tzu became confused.

"Am I a Man”, he thought,
"who dreamed that I was a butterfly?
Or am I butterfly, dreaming that I am a man?
Perhaps my whole waking life is
but a moment in a butterfly's dream!
This is a story of transformation"

it isn't necessary to be a taoist to be a mattress salesman, but neither does it hurt.

Submitted by Coronita on April 6, 2021 - 1:06pm.

What about foam pillows. I couldnt get use to a foam pillow. I had one that was heavh like a brick, but it just seemed too firm. When uses a foam pillow, ir felt like i was wearing snell 2010 helmet. Ok maybe not a snell helmet. It just felt kinda hard.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2021 - 2:20pm.

Coronita wrote:
What about foam pillows. I couldnt get use to a foam pillow. I had one that was heavh like a brick, but it just seemed too firm. When uses a foam pillow, ir felt like i was wearing snell 2010 helmet. Ok maybe not a snell helmet. It just felt kinda hard.

might i recommend a pillow stuffed with $100 bills. i tried $10s, but they're not as supportive.

Submitted by masayako on April 6, 2021 - 5:34pm.

flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

We also live in other places, but still keep our dream home here. Granted, if you waited to purchase your dream home or other properties until now, they, and taxes, are going to be a lot more expensive than they were in the past. Meeting the requirements to keep a tax base in another state or country is something you might want to investigate. There are (legal) ways to have the best of all worlds.

We also have lots of family here, kids, friends etc., and take care of several family members who need care, vs. placing them in facilities. We have them taken care of in the way we would want to be treated, and are glad to do it. A few hugs a day means more to them than any amount of money every could.

Even with the best diet, exercise and mental health aspects of life covered, when you see how life can change on a dime wrt one's health, it's clear that making the most of what you have each day is the best way to go, and I wish you the best in your quest.

Thank you so much for the advice. My in-laws will go with us if we decide to move out of CA. They are being very flexible. I completely agree with you that it boils down to where you want to be and what we are willing to scarifice (friends in CA etc). It's so hard.

Submitted by Coronita on April 7, 2021 - 5:26am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
Coronita wrote:
What about foam pillows. I couldnt get use to a foam pillow. I had one that was heavh like a brick, but it just seemed too firm. When uses a foam pillow, ir felt like i was wearing snell 2010 helmet. Ok maybe not a snell helmet. It just felt kinda hard.

might i recommend a pillow stuffed with $100 bills. i tried $10s, but they're not as supportive.

The issue I have with $100 bills is they probably have traces of cocaine. Not something I want to breathe in and out every single night. Now one possibility might be to use the €100 Euro bill. First of all, it's considerably more expensive, and the quality of the euro bill fiber is far softer than what they use for the $100USD. Plus Europeans do not nearly have as big a cocaine problem as americans. So perhaps, a pile of €100 euro bills would be softer.

Submitted by flyer on April 6, 2021 - 10:03pm.

masayako wrote:
flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

We also live in other places, but still keep our dream home here. Granted, if you waited to purchase your dream home or other properties until now, they, and taxes, are going to be a lot more expensive than they were in the past. Meeting the requirements to keep a tax base in another state or country is something you might want to investigate. There are (legal) ways to have the best of all worlds.

We also have lots of family here, kids, friends etc., and take care of several family members who need care, vs. placing them in facilities. We have them taken care of in the way we would want to be treated, and are glad to do it. A few hugs a day means more to them than any amount of money every could.

Even with the best diet, exercise and mental health aspects of life covered, when you see how life can change on a dime wrt one's health, it's clear that making the most of what you have each day is the best way to go, and I wish you the best in your quest.

Thank you so much for the advice. My in-laws will go with us if we decide to move out of CA. They are being very flexible. I completely agree with you that it boils down to where you want to be and what we are willing to scarifice (friends in CA etc). It's so hard.

Glad to know my thoughts were helpful, but please, don't construe them as advice, because it's best that you make your own decisions. That said, here are a few more thoughts:

I think the reason you are having such a hard time with this, is that you really do feel a strong attachment to CA and all that only it has to offer, yet, you also feel pragmatically compelled to evaluate the financial realities of staying in CA.

One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.

If you find the home and location you can't live without in CA, vs. elsewhere, run the numbers long term, and even if the home is more than the equivalent elsewhere, including taxes, property taxes, etc. if you feel you can afford it, it would seem you have your answer. Other than what you wish to leave to your family and/or friends, leaving multiple millions on the table would not seem necessary. Again, just my thoughts.

Submitted by o2addict on April 6, 2021 - 11:02pm.

So, hello. Would you like to have a family of 5?

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 7, 2021 - 7:26am.

flyer][quote=masayako][quote=flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.

So what would your advice be to your tenants with an empty space in their souls?

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2021 - 9:14am.

sdrealtor][quote=flyer][quote=masayako wrote:
flyer wrote:
All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.

One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.

So what would your advice be to your tenants with an empty space in their souls?

Some folk so poor they have to rent their soul.
Teeth on loan from the five and dime.
Lungs on lay away from the department store.
Borrowed all the air and most of their time.

Lyrics to a song i just wrote!

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2021 - 9:33am.

Replace soul with ego, and expression with display, and it isnt esoteric at all !

The dream home is a display of the ego. At least it is for me. Theres no additional utility.

My ego is sometimes filled with pride when i look around my home and i feel slightly superior when i display it to other people, because my home is nicer than pretty much anyone in the worlds.

My soul, however, assuming what i identify as my soul or spirit actually exists, and isnt just some particular chemical activity, is usually not interested in my house. Generally...however---

We do bodily get accustomed to specific spots though. Query: there are 3 toilets in the house. Why would i only ever consider pooping in one of them. Or even peeing?

I pee outside way before id pee on those other 2 toilets. I believe my soul needs the quiet of this one bathroom to properly poop. It has no window for starters. And its very small in there. Just roomy enougg 4 a soul. Pooping in those lrge lighted toilets feels wrong to my heart.

In buying your dream home, masayako, i would be sure to quietly sit upon each toilet for 5 minutes in this home. Make the agent go outside. Think: can i poop freely here? If no toilet provides peace....then pass...it may be the case that you no longer even wish to poop in california.

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