Should we stay or should we go?

User Forum Topic
Submitted by masayako on April 4, 2021 - 10:23pm

Hi guys, it's been a long time since I posted here. To make a long story short, I am seeking some advice from real estates gurus here.

Family of 4. I am in my mid-40s now, net worth is about $30M or so. Because of my investment and stock options, I should reach about $60-$70M in 5 yrs or so. By then, I intend to buy a dream house (~$10M). My question is: I think I will quit my job by then and plan for early retirement, so it matters if I should stay in SD or move to a lower-cost state. Thoughts?

I think I can afford to live in SD. However, the housing price is getting so ridiculously high that I feel like I am getting so much more outside of CA. Also, I worry about CA state tax and business tax which makes it even more appealing to leave CA.

Sorry, I am rambling. I suppose I want to hear what you think if you were in my shoes. Should we stay or should we leave CA?

Submitted by an on April 5, 2021 - 8:25am.

At that kind of net worth, you can afford to live anywhere. So the first question you have to ask yourself is, if money isn't an issue, where would you want to live. If I have that kind of net worth, I would stay in San Diego. You can't buy weather and you can't build view. You might be able to get a bigger house somewhere else, but at $10M, you can get a pretty big house in La Jolla Farms with an ocean view. So, is a 10-15k sq-ft house more important to you or a 7k sq-ft house on an acre in La Jolla Farms enough?

Submitted by evolusd on April 5, 2021 - 9:09am.

Is this for real? Seems a bit trollish.

Submitted by Hobie on April 5, 2021 - 9:39am.

Buy a $10M dream home and send $100k/yr to prop tax, I'd move to a low prop tax state. On principal alone!

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 10:01am.

.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 5, 2021 - 10:05am.

keep saving, rent a room from flyer. markets too risky.

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 10:17am.

You know, perhaps you should consider Las Vegas. There's a resident expert here. You can PM him...

Oh wait... nevermind.

Submitted by Hobie on April 5, 2021 - 10:18am.

At least we are in the same peer group. First world problems. I feel ya.

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 10:25am.

Buy Dogecoin!!!!

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 5, 2021 - 10:38am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
keep saving, rent a room from flyer. markets too risky.

Thats Gold Jerry!! Gold!!

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 10:42am.

Hobie wrote:
At least we are in the same peer group. First world problems. I feel ya.

Well damn Hobie.... You know, I was considering a Louis Vuitton ONTHEGO handbag to carry my macbook pro. But gosh darnit ever since Cardi B started to commercialize LV on instagram, it's considerably watered down the brand image..

I'm thinking I should get a Hermes Birkin 20 Sellier Faubourg. I think it would be a good investment for my MacBook Pro and would hold value and my MacBook just swell. Thoughts?

Submitted by Hobie on April 5, 2021 - 10:44am.

you still carry your laptop?... I've got people.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 5, 2021 - 11:14am.

to be fair, my net worth is a few million, and I feel broke all the time.

We went to a wedding and they served way too much meat. I dont eat meat but there was no selection so i had all this meat I couldnt eat.

I took a to go box and tried to feed this meat to my kids later. the kids didnt want the meat, the yw ere like, why do you have this extra meat.

it was nice meat, that's why. really nice meat. why wouldnt they eat that nice meat. they kept calling it my "meat box". why do you have a meat box? i ended up irritated and threw away the meat box. I was like, fine, no ones getting any more meat boxes out of me, fucking ingrates. im not saving any meat. the hell with it.

really i was thinking, save a few bucks on nother meal, they could have nice meat. why waste this meat?

why so cheap? I was thinking maybe it had to do with the jews emigrating from russia 100 years ago. the jews who scrimped and saved made it, had enough for safe passage on some crappy ship to america. the profligate jews? the jews who didnt save a meat box? THEY'RE DEAD! DEAD and buried, killed by cossacks or nazis or who knows what.

that's why I have a goddamn meat box, i think. if I had 30 million, id still be carrying a damn meat box.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 5, 2021 - 11:16am.

I too have a meat box in my fridge

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 5, 2021 - 12:06pm.

my wife read out loud to me an article in THE SUN about Terror Managment Theory from some rebel psychologists. They hypothesize that virtually everything we do is in response to death anxiety.

"Terror management theory claims that humans are aware of our inevitable death, and to manage our anxiety and intense fear around this consciousness, we invest in creating cultures, belief systems, values, and worldviews which shape a reality for us that make us feel protected from this terror."

exh. A: the meat box.

i immediately embraced this theory as the overarching unified theory of everything human, from hoarding, to trump, to money, religion, art, fashion. no more need to wonder why anyone does anything anymore. it's all about managing death terror

Submitted by Coronita on April 5, 2021 - 12:21pm.

Hobie wrote:
you still carry your laptop?... I've got people.

Yeah, but with this covid thing, you can't always count on them to wear a mask and properly socially distance...Damn, domestic duties. Now, not only do I need to change my own oil, clean my own toilets, cut my own grass...But damnit...Carry my own MacBook Pro laptop bag....

Submitted by XBoxBoy on April 5, 2021 - 12:48pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:

i immediately embraced this theory as the overarching unified theory of everything human, from hoarding, to trump, to money, religion, art, fashion. no more need to wonder why anyone does anything anymore. it's all about managing death terror

The problem is we do lots of things and have lots of needs that fly in the face of this theory. Like sex, or thrill seeking, or going to war. Terror management is just a part of the complex human psyche.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 5, 2021 - 12:55pm.

XBoxBoy wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:

i immediately embraced this theory as the overarching unified theory of everything human, from hoarding, to trump, to money, religion, art, fashion. no more need to wonder why anyone does anything anymore. it's all about managing death terror

The problem is we do lots of things and have lots of needs that fly in the face of this theory. Like sex, or thrill seeking, or going to war. Terror management is just a part of the complex human psyche.

terror management addresses that. don't worry, the terror mgt theorists are way ahead of you. we go to desperate measures to defend these cultural structures we've created to ward off death anxiety...

"Terror Management Theory (TMT) was developed in 1986 by social psychologists Jeff Greenberg, Tom Pyszczynski, and Sheldon Solomon based upon Ernest Becker’s ideas.

TMT posits that while humans share with all life-forms a biological predisposition toward self-preservation in the service of reproduction, we are unique in our capacity for symbolic thought, which fosters self-awareness and the ability to reflect on the past and ponder the future. This spawns the realization that death is inevitable and can occur at any time for reasons that cannot be anticipated or controlled.

The awareness of death engenders potentially debilitating terror that is “managed” by the development and maintenance of cultural worldviews: humanly constructed beliefs about reality shared by individuals that minimize existential dread by conferring meaning and value. All cultures provide a sense that life is meaningful by offering an account of the origin of the universe, prescriptions for appropriate behavior, and assurance of immortality for those who behave in accordance with cultural dictates. Literal immortality is afforded by souls, heavens, afterlives, and reincarnations associated with all major religions. Symbolic immortality is obtained by being part of a great nation, amassing great fortunes, noteworthy accomplishments, and having children.

Psychological equanimity also requires that individuals perceive themselves as persons of value in a world of meaning. This is accomplished through social roles with associated standards. Self-esteem is the sense of personal significance that results from meeting or exceeding such standards.

Three lines of research provide empirical support for TMT:

The anxiety-buffering function of self-esteem is established by studies where momentarily elevated self-esteem results in lower self-reported anxiety and physiological arousal.
Making death salient by asking people to think about themselves dying (or viewing graphic depictions of death, being interviewed in front of a funeral parlor, or subliminal exposure to the word “dead” or “death”) intensifies strivings to defend their cultural worldviews by increasing positive reactions to similar others, and negative reactions toward those who are different.
Research verifies the existential function of cultural worldviews and self-esteem by demonstrating that non-conscious death thoughts come more readily to mind when cherished cultural beliefs or self-esteem is threatened.
TMT has generated empirical research (currently more than 500 studies) examining a host of other forms of human social behavior, including aggression, stereotyping, needs for structure and meaning, depression and psychopathology, political preferences, creativity, sexuality, romantic and interpersonal attachment, self-awareness, unconscious cognition, martyrdom, religion, group identification, disgust, human-nature relations, physical health, risk taking, and legal judgments.

In 2015, Greenberg, Pyszczynski and Solomon published The Worm at the Core, which reviews this vast body of research supporting Becker’s central claim that the fear of death is “the mainspring of human activity.”

Submitted by zk on April 5, 2021 - 1:18pm.

I live in San Diego because I love the weather, the culture, the people, the ocean, the recreational opportunities, and that sort of thing. If I lived in Nevada, could I have a bigger house and pay no state tax? Sure. But I'd be living in Nevada. Or Texas or Florida or wherever.

If were somewhat poorer and my options were a studio condo in San Diego or a pretty nice house in Florida, I would still live in San Diego. If I were a lot poorer and my options were renting a room in a house in a not-so-good part of San Diego or a small condo in an inexpensive part of Florida, I would still live in San Diego. If I were trying to live on $800/month and my options were to be homeless in San Diego or to have meager accommodations in Florida...I'd move to Florida. Probably.

If I had $60M (or $30M), there's no way in hell I would ever dream of living anywhere but San Diego. Or whichever city I would most want to live in. I guess what city they live in is less important to some people. But I think only the tiniest (and most foolish) minority of people worth $60M would decide what city they live in based on money.

What good is money if you can't even live where you want? So you die with $30M instead of $60M. You're going to live your life in your second- (or third- or fourth-) favorite state so that you can...what? Have a 30,000 sf house on the ocean (in Florida? Yuck. or Texas?) instead of a 10,000 sf house overlooking the Pacific? Have a bigger jet? Die with more money? None of those options comes remotely close to making any sense to me.

If you like those states better, sure. But to move there to save money when you have that much is unfathomable to me.

To do it "on principle," as another poster suggested, would be cutting off your nose to spite your face. That's taking stupid up a notch.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 5, 2021 - 1:22pm.

This thread is starting to turn into the piggington version of the greatest all time thread on a wine board Ive frequented for years. Its been going for 7 years and this one could also. It may even surpass the Sky Ranch thread someday. Oh and the title of that thread on the wine board

"Friend of friend wants to land his helicopter at Screaming Eagle"

Submitted by Hobie on April 5, 2021 - 1:44pm.

.

Submitted by The-Shoveler on April 5, 2021 - 2:01pm.

I think If I had 30 to 60 Million I would have probably 3 houses, 1 in Nevada or Florida as primary for tax reasons,
1 In SoCal somewhere (maybe keep current pad, really like it), 1 on Maui where I would spend about 1/2 my time probably.

I don't think I would spend much time on piggingtons asking advice from a bunch of decamillionaire wannabee's LOL.

I would also spend a lot more time worrying about the zimbabwe-fication of the USD LOL, which would probably cause me to do something really stupid. Sometimes better to be just average I think.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 5, 2021 - 2:07pm.

Its not as easy as buying a house in FLA and claiming residence there. I have many friends going through this right now. You NEED to spend at least 183 days per year in FLA to claim residency and document it with plane tickets and credit card charges proving you were there. You wanna be a FLA resident? You have to actually live there then

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 5, 2021 - 3:44pm.

unless you're trump.

im leaning toward a nomadic lifestyle with my 30 million. a really nice van. but not too flashy. stay in motels from time to time.

Submitted by gzz on April 5, 2021 - 4:18pm.

my life partner is a Vegan Van Life instagramm-thinkfluencer. Google it.

I'm glad my driveway has "RV Parking" like all the home listings say.

Submitted by gzz on April 5, 2021 - 4:17pm.

OP, I don't have any kids, and I barely scrape by on the rents and dividends from my 60M portfolio. I don't know how you do it!

Submitted by an on April 5, 2021 - 4:25pm.

.

Submitted by an on April 5, 2021 - 4:22pm.

Oooh, let's play what would I do if I have a net worth of $30-60m... I would build a $2M house in SD and use that as my primary residence (love the weather and the people). Then I would have a house/condo in Colorado mountain (Vail, Aspen, etc), Park City, Whistler, US Virgin Island, Hawaii, Sedona, and maybe the Bahamas.

Submitted by an on April 5, 2021 - 4:24pm.

The-Shoveler wrote:
I would also spend a lot more time worrying about the zimbabwe-fication of the USD LOL, which would probably cause me to do something really stupid. Sometimes better to be just average I think.
I would load up on RE with 30 years loan if I'm worried about zimbabwe-fication of the USD. I don't think we'll get that crazy, but I wouldn't be surprised if we see a repeat of late 70s/early 80s inflation again.

Submitted by flyer on April 5, 2021 - 4:48pm.

OP, you should do whatever you want to do--only you know what you want out of life. You can't buy time--and the clock is ticking for all of us--so enjoy!

Submitted by Escoguy on April 5, 2021 - 4:59pm.

Masayako, May I call you Mas? Today I have reached 20% of your current level, oh wait, it is now Monday, so I am now at 22% of your current level.

By the end of the year, surely will be closer to 30-40% as things go.

These dilemmas of where to live have haunted me for 20 years. So I left San Diego in 2003, went to Moscow/Siberia/Azerbaijan (five other counties before that). Many of my neighbors in Moscow would ask the same question "so if money is no object, where would you live?" Even during my time in Kuwait, my business partner whose father advised the Emir on energy told me "Everyone has an escape plan." Other stories of the Emir are also interesting, as I knew one of his pilots. The pilot would complain that he only got to fly the entourage to Ethiopia for the vacation but not to France or the US as the jet he flew was a mid-range. Still each vacation would cost millions, so at a certain level I understand your dilemma.

Back in Russia, I always told them France or Germany, maybe Spain. I lied because I didn't want San Diego flooded with Russian billionaires. One of Putin's deputies had a mistress who lived across the street, nice lady but faced the same dilemma just like you and the Emir. I'm sure she overheard her lover and Vladimir P discussing where they wanted to live. These pesky sanctions in so many countries. San Diego isn't even an option until shell companies and 45.

I wanted San Diego to stay cheap so I could buy up more with my relatively modest means to ensure my true chance of becoming the Amateur North County Property Oligarch. I had seen what had happened to the Bentley dealership in Baku selling out for 5 years in one week. I didn't want the same here.

Rarely did any of my associates really enjoy spending money once they got above $50M (it was always keeping up the Romanovs) so I would encourage you to relax or get a second or third mistress so you can have real adventure in your life and appreciate your family at the same time.
Otherwise you will die with too much money. The other day, my wife was listening to the story of Rasputin and I walked in where he discovered he was impotent and cried. You do not want to be a tragic figure with wealth who did not live his life.

So true to form, many will misrepresent the truth about living here or plant false narratives so you will be convinced of the happiness of lower taxes and larger houses with higher humidity and mosquitoes. But these are truly trivial matters for a man of the world such as yourself. I am glad you have chosen the correct forum to get life changing advice as there are few places such as this with a true high level of insight.

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