ot. 1st world problems.

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Submitted by scaredyclassic on July 17, 2016 - 10:06pm

i was on the phone with a credit card rep prob. based in india.

i was,asking for a credit inc. on a card i like.

i gave him our household income which suddenly struck me as a very large no. to be telling some guy in india.

shoot, how much is he making? i hoped it was more than 5 perc. of that but it was prob. a lot less.

. i hoped he thought i was exaggerating. but i wasnt.

i was going through financial paperwork that evening and i was getting slightly stressed out even though THERE IS NOTHING WRONG and literally everything is OK.i tried to tell myself to relax but couldnt stop fretting.

I spent 1,000 on garden stuff for my wife and it didnt affect me at all. but just looking at paperwork or thinking about numbers gets me agitated.

the worker at the garden store looked significantly happier than me.

Submitted by zk on July 17, 2016 - 11:15pm.

Maybe the guy in India is as happy as the guy at the garden store.

Submitted by zk on July 17, 2016 - 11:16pm.

Videos of primitive tribes fascinate me because they always seem so happy.

Submitted by no_such_reality on July 18, 2016 - 7:09am.

I know I'm a whole lot happier since getting off the hamster wheel.

UCGal, what about you?

Submitted by svelte on July 18, 2016 - 7:20am.

The first time it hit me how outside the normal range I am is when I went with my son while he was pre-shopping for a wedding ring, in advance of taking his future bride.

He was pointing out the rings he liked, asking the price, trying to get approved for an appropriate price range for when he brought her back. He was filling out the credit app when the clerk told him he would need a co-signer for the price range he was considering. I volunteered and she asked my monthly income. When I calculated it in my mind and said it out loud, the number even shocked me. All the clerk said was "wow".

Moments like those adjust my perspective a bit. It keeps me grounded.

Submitted by La Jolla Renter on July 18, 2016 - 8:11am.

an oldie but goodie...

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Submitted by an on July 18, 2016 - 9:05am.

LJ Renter, totally agree with that story.

Submitted by The-Shoveler on July 18, 2016 - 9:11am.

The Wife and I were taking a walk on the beach (which we do almost weekly) and she asked me what I plan to do in retirement.

I replied walk on the beach at least once a week, maybe spend a little more time at the GYM.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 18, 2016 - 10:53am.

svelte wrote:
The first time it hit me how outside the normal range I am is when I went with my son while he was pre-shopping for a wedding ring, in advance of taking his future bride.

He was pointing out the rings he liked, asking the price, trying to get approved for an appropriate price range for when he brought her back. He was filling out the credit app when the clerk told him he would need a co-signer for the price range he was considering. I volunteered and she asked my monthly income. When I calculated it in my mind and said it out loud, the number even shocked me. All the clerk said was "wow".

Moments like those adjust my perspective a bit. It keeps me grounded.

Did you mean an engagement ring? The sky's he limit.

A wedding band is not that expensive.

Submitted by spdrun on July 18, 2016 - 11:37am.

Marriage has become a fucked up industry. People starting out and planning to have kids shouldn't have social pressure to buy a piece of glassified carbon on credit.

It would be nice if more people said "fuck it all", got married at city hall, and held a reception in their back yard.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 18, 2016 - 12:36pm.

I know some people who saved to buy their wives huge rocks, many years into the marriage. Some women save their own money to buy themselves big rocks later in life. $50k and up is not a big deal anymore.
In a society of consumption, everyone can have a Lexus SUV and a big diamond ring. First world prerogative.

Submitted by spdrun on July 18, 2016 - 12:50pm.

Then the people you know lack imagination -- $50k buys a hell of a nice trip around the world. You'll remember it fondly than a piece of mineral.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 18, 2016 - 1:18pm.

A diamond is an investment. A diamond bought in the 80s for $5k is worth north of $50k. I don't remember the exact multiples, but so I have been told by reliable parties. Plus it's something a woman can wear, show off and feel good about. The husband can also feel proud about being a good provider. It's an asset that holds sentimental value and can be passed down generations.

Submitted by spdrun on July 18, 2016 - 1:20pm.

So would some houses and other actually useful things. If someone wants a big rock, that's a sign the fiance should leave her crying at the altar. After taking back the ring, of course.

Submitted by sdsurfer on July 18, 2016 - 2:12pm.

spdrun wrote:
Marriage has become a fucked up industry. People starting out and planning to have kids shouldn't have social pressure to buy a piece of glassified carbon on credit.

It would be nice if more people said "fuck it all", got married at city hall, and held a reception in their back yard.

Funny story....the wife and I wanted to get married on the bluff in Encinitas. She went down to the city to buy a permit, but was told, "that is not a designated venue...your supposed to go to the spot just S of Moonlight beach" She mentioned that we really do not go to the beach there and would rather get married above the beach we go to about 300 yards north of there. Luckily...a nice person at city hall pulled her aside and told her, "just do it and stop telling everyone...nobody is going to break up your wedding". I still need to get back and thank that whoever that was.

We ended up pulling it off. Got married on the bluff above the place I surf all the time before I head to the office. Her uncle got ordained to conduct the ceremony and we ended up having the reception in our backyard. I sometimes think her dad got kinda lucky, but I know I'm the one that really did.

Submitted by sdsurfer on July 18, 2016 - 2:15pm.

La Jolla Renter wrote:
an oldie but goodie...

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Love this one and quote it often to people.

Submitted by flyer on July 18, 2016 - 2:33pm.

sdsurfer wrote:
La Jolla Renter wrote:
an oldie but goodie...

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Love this one and quote it often to people.

+1

I've always felt it's best to live the life you want to live each day, since no one ever really knows how long they'll be on planet earth.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 18, 2016 - 3:57pm.

spdrun wrote:
So would some houses and other actually useful things. If someone wants a big rock, that's a sign the fiance should leave her crying at the altar. After taking back the ring, of course.

I would not discount the usefulness of jewelry. With them, you can buy the affection of your wife, your daughter-in-law, grand children, etc.. . Heirlooms tie people together through the generations.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on July 18, 2016 - 5:14pm.

zk wrote:
Maybe the guy in India is as happy as the guy at the garden store.

maybe. i felt an uncomfortable pause after i said my household income. like it pricked him. i could be projecting.

the guy in the garden store was having a really truly good time. told me hed spent 10 years working at a gas station and this job was awesome in comparison...of course, i didnt tell him my income, but he mightve thought i was a rich idiot, spending so much cash on giant pots...although frankly he didnt seem the type to judge.

i kinda wanted to hang out with him. maybe get trained to work there? that is, if money were no object. which is obviously not the case...

Submitted by zk on July 18, 2016 - 10:53pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:
zk wrote:
Maybe the guy in India is as happy as the guy at the garden store.

maybe. i felt an uncomfortable pause after i said my household income. like it pricked him. i could be projecting.

the guy in the garden store was having a really truly good time. told me hed spent 10 years working at a gas station and this job was awesome in comparison...of course, i didnt tell him my income, but he mightve thought i was a rich idiot, spending so much cash on giant pots...although frankly he didnt seem the type to judge.

i kinda wanted to hang out with him. maybe get trained to work there? that is, if money were no object. which is obviously not the case...

Question: If you could trade places with the guy at the garden store, would you? (Leaving your family out of the equation.) You'd have his job and also his innate ability to be happy. You'd work in the garden store, and you'd be happy. You wouldn't have much money.

You hear people say that how happy you are is a choice, but I think that's only true to a very small extent. I think (and research says) a person spends most of his life hovering around his spot on the happiness spectrum, and it doesn't really matter if he's putting effort into being happy, and it doesn't really matter if he's a well-off lawyer or an $11/hour garden-store guy. It doesn't even matter if he's paralyzed or blind.

I was in NYC last summer on vacation. I'm having a decent time on vacation, and here I am on the subway. I'm probably mildly stressing about dinner accommodations or tomorrow's itinerary. Three Jamaican maids walk in and sit down. They're talking and laughing and sparkling. Two of them were, anyway. The other was happy to be along for the ride. I felt the same way about them as you did about the garden store guy. I wanted to hang out with them.

To me, being born (or raised, or whatever it is) with that level of happiness is worth far more than being born with the advantages of wealth, intelligence, first-world residence, educational opportunities, dominant race, good looks, or just about anything else.

Submitted by zk on July 18, 2016 - 10:56pm.

FlyerInHi wrote:

I would not discount the usefulness of jewelry. With them, you can buy the affection of your wife, your daughter-in-law, grand children, etc.. . Heirlooms tie people together through the generations.

Why would you want to buy somebody's affection? Why would you want the affection of somebody whose affection could be bought? Why would you want affection that was really for a diamond and not for you?

Submitted by spdrun on July 18, 2016 - 10:58pm.

^^^

this.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 18, 2016 - 11:22pm.

zk wrote:
FlyerInHi wrote:

I would not discount the usefulness of jewelry. With them, you can buy the affection of your wife, your daughter-in-law, grand children, etc.. . Heirlooms tie people together through the generations.

Why would you want to buy somebody's affection? Why would you want the affection of somebody whose affection could be bought? Why would you want affection that was really for a diamond and not for you?

Sometimes it's necessary. Not necessarily a diamond but something expensive.. Let's say your wife stood by you when your were poor. Now that you're rich you have to reward her. My neighbor in Vegas bought his wife a Bentley. We went to dinner and she said she chose him because she always knew that he would make it. She saw the enterpreneurial spirit in the young man who was wooing her.

I don't think good looks and personality are enough. You need a job and income to buy things.

Or let's say your son married someone who didn't like you. You may wish you had an heirloom to pass down to her to buy her loyalty. Someone has to buy that jewelry at one point.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 18, 2016 - 11:36pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:

i didnt tell him my income, but he mightve thought i was a rich idiot, spending so much cash on giant pots...although frankly he didnt seem the type to judge.

i kinda wanted to hang out with him. maybe get trained to work there? that is, if money were no object. which is obviously not the case...

$1000 on pots is not a lot. One big architectural pot can be $1000 It's all relative.

You're too intelligent to hang out too long with a garden store clerk. If you started as a salesman, pretty soon you'd own your own store and sell to rich suburban wives.

A happy go lucky guy doesn't ponder things and worry that guns used to fight government tyranny would be like Dallas but a hell of a lot more.

Submitted by njtosd on July 19, 2016 - 12:36am.

FlyerInHi wrote:
zk wrote:
FlyerInHi wrote:

I would not discount the usefulness of jewelry. With them, you can buy the affection of your wife, your daughter-in-law, grand children, etc.. . Heirlooms tie people together through the generations.

Why would you want to buy somebody's affection? Why would you want the affection of somebody whose affection could be bought? Why would you want affection that was really for a diamond and not for you?

Sometimes it's necessary. Not necessarily a diamond but something expensive.. Let's say your wife stood by you when your were poor. Now that you're rich you have to reward her. My neighbor in Vegas bought his wife a Bentley. We went to dinner and she said she chose him because she always knew that he would make it. She saw the enterpreneurial spirit in the young man who was wooing her.

I don't think good looks and personality are enough. You need a job and income to buy things.

Or let's say your son married someone who didn't like you. You may wish you had an heirloom to pass down to her to buy her loyalty. Someone has to buy that jewelry at one point.


Once again, shaking my head. No item could make me like someone that I wouldn't otherwise. I think you need to go back to your home planet, Brian.

Submitted by njtosd on July 19, 2016 - 12:44am.

zk wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:
zk wrote:
Maybe the guy in India is as happy as the guy at the garden store.

maybe. i felt an uncomfortable pause after i said my household income. like it pricked him. i could be projecting.

the guy in the garden store was having a really truly good time. told me hed spent 10 years working at a gas station and this job was awesome in comparison...of course, i didnt tell him my income, but he mightve thought i was a rich idiot, spending so much cash on giant pots...although frankly he didnt seem the type to judge.

i kinda wanted to hang out with him. maybe get trained to work there? that is, if money were no object. which is obviously not the case...

Question: If you could trade places with the guy at the garden store, would you? (Leaving your family out of the equation.) You'd have his job and also his innate ability to be happy. You'd work in the garden store, and you'd be happy. You wouldn't have much money.

You hear people say that how happy you are is a choice, but I think that's only true to a very small extent. I think (and research says) a person spends most of his life hovering around his spot on the happiness spectrum, and it doesn't really matter if he's putting effort into being happy, and it doesn't really matter if he's a well-off lawyer or an $11/hour garden-store guy. It doesn't even matter if he's paralyzed or blind.

I was in NYC last summer on vacation. I'm having a decent time on vacation, and here I am on the subway. I'm probably mildly stressing about dinner accommodations or tomorrow's itinerary. Three Jamaican maids walk in and sit down. They're talking and laughing and sparkling. Two of them were, anyway. The other was happy to be along for the ride. I felt the same way about them as you did about the garden store guy. I wanted to hang out with them.

To me, being born (or raised, or whatever it is) with that level of happiness is worth far more than being born with the advantages of wealth, intelligence, first-world residence, educational opportunities, dominant race, good looks, or just about anything else.

I have this discussion with my kids: would you take a drug that would reduce your IQ 20% but would guarantee that you're happy for the rest of your life? Please no one argue about the relevance of IQ (we can just call it intellect).

Another way to put it: before I had my first child I worried about Down Syndrome. But DS kids are generally happy and loving. What I would worry about now is Autism - kids who find it hard to be socially integrated or content, and there's no prenatal test for it.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on July 19, 2016 - 6:45am.

njtosd wrote:
zk wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:
zk wrote:
Maybe the guy in India is as happy as the guy at the garden store.

maybe. i felt an uncomfortable pause after i said my household income. like it pricked him. i could be projecting.

the guy in the garden store was having a really truly good time. told me hed spent 10 years working at a gas station and this job was awesome in comparison...of course, i didnt tell him my income, but he mightve thought i was a rich idiot, spending so much cash on giant pots...although frankly he didnt seem the type to judge.

i kinda wanted to hang out with him. maybe get trained to work there? that is, if money were no object. which is obviously not the case...

Question: If you could trade places with the guy at the garden store, would you? (Leaving your family out of the equation.) You'd have his job and also his innate ability to be happy. You'd work in the garden store, and you'd be happy. You wouldn't have much money.

You hear people say that how happy you are is a choice, but I think that's only true to a very small extent. I think (and research says) a person spends most of his life hovering around his spot on the happiness spectrum, and it doesn't really matter if he's putting effort into being happy, and it doesn't really matter if he's a well-off lawyer or an $11/hour garden-store guy. It doesn't even matter if he's paralyzed or blind.

I was in NYC last summer on vacation. I'm having a decent time on vacation, and here I am on the subway. I'm probably mildly stressing about dinner accommodations or tomorrow's itinerary. Three Jamaican maids walk in and sit down. They're talking and laughing and sparkling. Two of them were, anyway. The other was happy to be along for the ride. I felt the same way about them as you did about the garden store guy. I wanted to hang out with them.

To me, being born (or raised, or whatever it is) with that level of happiness is worth far more than being born with the advantages of wealth, intelligence, first-world residence, educational opportunities, dominant race, good looks, or just about anything else.

I have this discussion with my kids: would you take a drug that would reduce your IQ 20% but would guarantee that you're happy for the rest of your life? Please no one argue about the relevance of IQ (we can just call it intellect).

Another way to put it: before I had my first child I worried about Down Syndrome. But DS kids are generally happy and loving. What I would worry about now is Autism - kids who find it hard to be socially integrated or content, and there's no prenatal test for it.

ill take the drug but i need same financial status...

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 19, 2016 - 8:52am.

njtosd wrote:

Once again, shaking my head. No item could make me like someone that I wouldn't otherwise. I think you need to go back to your home planet, Brian.

Haha... You know I'm not totally serious. I didn't say jewels can make you like someone, but they can buy respect and loyalty. And maybe you will like that person later because feelings change.

Wealth that carries sentimental or symbolic value can be more useless than cold cash to cement relationships. Why do you thinks companies give gifts after so many years of service?

Submitted by zk on July 19, 2016 - 8:52am.

njtosd wrote:

I have this discussion with my kids: would you take a drug that would reduce your IQ 20% but would guarantee that you're happy for the rest of your life? Please no one argue about the relevance of IQ (we can just call it intellect).

To me, that's a no-brainer. Make it 50%, and I'd still take it. Heck, I'd give you a million dollars for it. (As long as I could do it without putting a burden on other people.) What the hell good are money and intelligence if they don't make you happy?

That would've been my answer before I had a family, anyway. If I could take that drug and still (in my newly borderline-retarded state) give my family the (non-monetary) support and guidance I want to give them, then I'd still take it now.

Submitted by spdrun on July 19, 2016 - 8:55am.

If the corepiration for whom I worked gave me a gift, my first thought would be "f you, your momma, poppa, and your children - I'd prefer to have the money to spend as *I* wish."

Submitted by FlyerInHi on July 19, 2016 - 9:19am.

spdrun wrote:
If the corepiration for whom I worked gave me a gift, my first thought would be "f you, your momma, poppa, and your children - I'd prefer to have the money to spend as *I* wish."

That is you. Maybe because you're more intelligent.

But human psychology is tricky. If you give an employee a $50 gift certificate to a favorite restaurant for a job well done, that's more valuable than $50 cash. The cash he will pocket and forget. The certificate, he will go home and tell his wife and the two of them will have dinner. Something to feel proud about and result in more loyalty to the company.

If you give an employee some lousy antique looking clock for decades of service, he will proudly display it on his mantel and tell this grandkids.

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