My therapist said more money won't make me happier

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Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2022 - 5:40pm

He said something about purpose and meaning and not to think about money so much since I have enough.

Sounds...fishy...what's his angle?

Submitted by zk on April 7, 2022 - 6:44pm.

"don't think about money," he said gently as he did the Jedi mind trick hand wave and billed you at $250/hour.

Submitted by Coronita on April 7, 2022 - 8:57pm.

Money can't make you happiest..

....but it sure can come pretty darn close.....

Submitted by Coronita on April 7, 2022 - 10:02pm.

are you really seeing a therapist? What for?

Submitted by svelte on April 8, 2022 - 8:29am.

I think he has said before they are seeing a marriage counselor.

As for what the therapist said, I agree. Money can indeed make you happier if you are living paycheck to paycheck.

But once you have enough that you don't have to worry about food or shelter for the rest of your life (and most of us on here are or will be in that state), then the rest is gravy. Adding more gravy will have a much smaller effect on your happiness. I'd say the same thing about real gravy on my mashed potatoes by the way.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2022 - 8:44am.

I've got my solo therapist too. It's useful! Like meditation. Visit your mind.

Let's say your net worth is 4 million. Then later it's 5 million. Nothing will likely change. You'll just maintain your bigger pile, then later withdraw from it at slightly higher amount. But it won't change things. You'll assume it could fade back to 4. Or swell to 6. But what will be different fundamentally? Same thing with chasing more higher paying work. You might spend a bit more but it won't really impact anything. Your general sense of self and your reality will plod on unchanged, probably.

There's never enough to feel fully secure.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2022 - 8:48am.

zk wrote:
"don't think about money," he said gently as he did the Jedi mind trick hand wave and billed you at $250/hour.

Covered by insurance $15/copay. More money may not make me happier, but letting go of it makes me sad

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 8, 2022 - 9:25am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
I've got my solo therapist too. It's useful! Like meditation. Visit your mind.

Let's say your net worth is 4 million. Then later it's 5 million. Nothing will likely change. You'll just maintain your bigger pile, then later withdraw from it at slightly higher amount. But it won't change things. You'll assume it could fade back to 4. Or swell to 6. But what will be different fundamentally? Same thing with chasing more higher paying work. You might spend a bit more but it won't really impact anything. Your general sense of self and your reality will plod on unchanged, probably.

There's never enough to feel fully secure.

For a lot of competitive people money is a way of keeping score in life

Submitted by flyer on April 8, 2022 - 10:37am.

Agree with your therapist, scaredy. In and of itself money does not make you happy, but, imo, being able to create the life you want for yourself and your family is very rewarding, and money can facilitate the means to that end, for the short time we are all in this world.

Imo, as you discover your own sense of self and what constitutes the core of your being--whatever you may decide that is--then acknowledge that everything on earth is transitory, you'll stop seeking a sense of security in places it does not exist, and you will find a sense of peace and happiness beyond your expectations.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2022 - 10:42am.

Thing on the internet...sounds wrong, but...
Joy throughout life has value. Maybe really only true value

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Submitted by flyer on April 8, 2022 - 10:42am.

Exactly.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 8, 2022 - 10:43am.

When I see that word this is all I can think of

https://youtu.be/hElOag-1a0k

Submitted by gzz on April 8, 2022 - 12:18pm.

“ For a lot of competitive people money is a way of keeping score in life”

I know a lot of wealthy and competitive people, and none are that shallow. I’m sure they exist somewhere, but not too common.

My happiness level is strongly correlated with how well my family is doing and how much free time I have. Money provides the option to help on both these fronts.

Having a competitive personality is good for my litigation clients, and society since most of my work is public interest. I feel basically OK when I am in the zone, and crushing my adversaries, but it objectively is bad for me, and gave me early hypertension (135/85 area at 38 when I began diet changes, weight loss, exercise, and lisinopril)

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2022 - 12:55pm.

Like trump, my net worth varies depending on how I feel about my brand

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 8, 2022 - 1:43pm.

gzz wrote:
“ For a lot of competitive people money is a way of keeping score in life”

I know a lot of wealthy and competitive people, and none are that shallow. I’m sure they exist somewhere, but not too common.

My happiness level is strongly correlated with how well my family is doing and how much free time I have. Money provides the option to help on both these fronts.

Having a competitive personality is good for my litigation clients, and society since most of my work is public interest. I feel basically OK when I am in the zone, and crushing my adversaries, but it objectively is bad for me, and gave me early hypertension (135/85 area at 38 when I began diet changes, weight loss, exercise, and lisinopril)

We know very different people and perhaps different levels of rich. Having read your opinions for years they are far from mainstream

Submitted by The-Shoveler on April 8, 2022 - 2:34pm.

The Scaredy brand seems to be holding up well on piggington's

Submitted by Coronita on April 8, 2022 - 3:54pm.

sdrealtor wrote:
When I see that word this is all I can think of

https://youtu.be/hElOag-1a0k

I miss Sean Connery

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2022 - 5:31pm.

When I think of doubling my earnings...something I can see happening...I reflexively think, yeah I'd be happier. But setting aside all the extra hustle and sales and work...how specifically would more money help me be happier? I can't say, but I feel it would. I am jealous of lawyers who make lots of money. When I hear of an acquaintance who makes a big score, I feel irritated.

On the other hand, status for seniors, like myself, might be better measured in how fit we are and whether we still have all our marbles.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 8, 2022 - 5:52pm.

My favorite uncle used to say they would sit around the pool in Boynton Beach and compare medication lists. That is status when you are in your 80's

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 8, 2022 - 7:27pm.

If you can get a natural erection in Boynton beach, probably you feel like top dog.

Submitted by Coronita on April 8, 2022 - 9:52pm.

For me, tinkering and working with my hands is therapeutic, as trivial as it is. It's a challenge, there's a clear goal, and forces me to problem solve, and when successful- a sense of accomplishment, as trivial as it may be. And if I fail miserably doing it, there's always the cheat sheet way: buy a replacement or pay someone else to fix my mess (and get my money's worth).

Hobbies help.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 8, 2022 - 10:24pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:
If you can get a natural erection in Boynton beach, probably you feel like top dog.

Erections are ancient history in Boynton Beach. If you can drive you are Don Juan

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 9, 2022 - 6:58am.

My last chance to be the incredible stud I always dreamt of being. Money can't buy that. To the weight room, boys! Gonna pick up some smoking hot super young 65 year olds!

Submitted by The-Shoveler on April 9, 2022 - 8:43am.

Watch out for the gold diggers.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 9, 2022 - 4:43pm.

The-Shoveler wrote:
Watch out for the gold diggers.

You only live once. Once I'm in my 90s, I think I'll just go for it.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 12, 2022 - 9:17am.

More money may not make you happier, but radically less buying power through inflation could bum you out.

I'm not even comfortable buying apples at current price.

This kind of economic environment makes me feel like working into ones 70s is necessary. You may think you're set, and really not be set. If you want apples.

Submitted by sdrealtor on April 12, 2022 - 9:52am.

Just plant a tree

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 12, 2022 - 10:52am.

for several years I steadily picked and ate mustard greens growing wild. That, plus some chickens, for eggs, could probably cover everything I need. I can skip the apples, get vit. C by scavenging nearby grapefruits from fruit that rolls in the street from groves. a steady diet of mustard greens, eggs and fallen citrus.

I'm inflation-proof!

Submitted by Coronita on April 12, 2022 - 11:02am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
More money may not make you happier, but radically less buying power through inflation could bum you out.

I'm not even comfortable buying apples at current price.

This kind of economic environment makes me feel like working into ones 70s is necessary. You may think you're set, and really not be set. If you want apples.

Are you serious?
Come on dude. You're practically a dinc....(double income no children)....

I'm waiting for my kid to go to college (hopefully), and that 529k plan will pay for that... I'm done with major expenses. I buy whatever I want now within reason without even thinking.

I just bought my third torque wrench!!!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M12...

And paid $26 for 1 e10/e12 wrench for euro cars!!!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HB...

My tool collection keeps getting bigger and bigger. One can never have enough tools!!!

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 12, 2022 - 12:14pm.

Coronita wrote:
scaredyclassic wrote:
More money may not make you happier, but radically less buying power through inflation could bum you out.

I'm not even comfortable buying apples at current price.

This kind of economic environment makes me feel like working into ones 70s is necessary. You may think you're set, and really not be set. If you want apples.

Are you serious?
Come on dude. You're practically a dinc....(double income no children)....

I'm waiting for my kid to go to college (hopefully), and that 529k plan will pay for that... I'm done with major expenses. I buy whatever I want now within reason without even thinking.

I just bought my third torque wrench!!!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M12...

And paid $26 for 1 e10/e12 wrench for euro cars!!!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HB...

My tool collection keeps getting bigger and bigger. One can never have enough tools!!!

scaredycat assume the very worst scenario. i budget for bail money for crimes nonexistent grandchildren may commit 25 years from now. On the other hand, yeah, you're right, I do seem to have extra money. I still cannot pay $3 a pound for apples when I can pick up grapefuits from the street on my walk.

Submitted by Coronita on April 12, 2022 - 3:10pm.

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