Holy Sh.... I'm old...

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Submitted by Coronita on April 6, 2014 - 7:29pm

Doing my taxes over the weekend, I was looking over things I need to report and had to open up my file cabinet stuffed with statements from all the years. I only open this cabinet around this time of year....

Digging through the cabinet, I stumbled across an old relic...My very first paycheck I earned as a full time engineer, from my very first job.. Lol....

....Then digging further, I found my first offer letter ...Qualcomm. Engineer (I)... Starting paying $38,500. With a "generous sign on bonus of $2,500....Then there was, the selling points of why I should live in San Diego...

I remember when I first started out, I bought this file cabinet from Staples in Mira Mesa, along with a white couch and twin bed from them Robinson May Company in UTC... The couch, bed, and file cabinet, went with me wherever i relocated...up to the bay area and back and forth..

In all, the file cabinet has been every place that I lived, accumulating more and more statements as the years progress

...Digging through one of the drawers this evening, I realized I have so much crap in this drawer....And then it hits me...

Holy Sh***... I'm almost 40....I've been working for almost 18 years... I'm old, dude......

Submitted by svelte on April 6, 2014 - 8:26pm.

40 wasn't a hard one for me. I actually almost enjoyed turning 30 and 40. But I hit the half century mark recently and that one, that one hurt.

It still hurts. I think I can even see changes in my behavior as I prepare for the future. I feel like an aircraft that has reach peak altitude and now has oh so gently started the decent. And that's depressing.

My wife still doesn't have permission to share my age with anyone. That's how much it hurt.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2014 - 8:30pm.

i turned 51 last week. im open about it. I say, "i am extremely old. 51." my kids know my age; i never was quite clear on my parents' ages.

51. sheesh.

better not make the most of anything. walk, don't run. hell, i was playing tennis with one of my kids and I had to "rest" after an hour by lying down for a moment in the middle of the court to catch my breath. true, it was partly for dramatic effect, and i wasn't runnign all that hard, but damn i got tired running after that ball!

i think a very slow walk, a mild breakfast of a tiny cup of oatmeal, a prune, a small shot of whiskey, a pot of tea, and a crust of toast would probably be the best way to start off the day in these advanced years. instead i drink 3 cups of coffee and get to work before im even awake...

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 6, 2014 - 8:33pm.

flu wrote:
Doing my taxes over the weekend, I was looking over things I need to report and had to open up my file cabinet stuffed with statements from all the years. I only open this cabinet around this time of year....

Digging through the cabinet, I stumbled across an old relic...My very first paycheck I earned as a full time engineer, from my very first job.. Lol....

....Then digging further, I found my first offer letter ...Qualcomm. Engineer (I)... Starting paying $38,500. With a "generous sign on bonus of $2,500....Then there was, the selling points of why I should live in San Diego...

I remember when I first started out, I bought this file cabinet from Staples in Mira Mesa, along with a white couch and twin bed from them Robinson May Company in UTC... The couch, bed, and file cabinet, went with me wherever i relocated...up to the bay area and back and forth..

In all, the file cabinet has been every place that I lived, accumulating more and more statements as the years progress

...Digging through one of the drawers this evening, I realized I have so much crap in this drawer....And then it hits me...

Holy Sh***... I'm almost 40....I've been working for almost 18 years... I'm old, dude......

it's interesting to look at old docs. wouldn't it be fun to see your dad's first tax returns? i keep thinkgs i think might be interesting ina box. maybe some offspring, or offsprings offspring might someday be intrigued.

Submitted by SK in CV on April 6, 2014 - 9:03pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:

it's interesting to look at old docs. wouldn't it be fun to see your dad's first tax returns? i keep thinkgs i think might be interesting ina box. maybe some offspring, or offsprings offspring might someday be intrigued.

Yeah, it is interesting. It's hard to throw away old stuff. I was just going through a box of old papers a few weeks ago. I came across a very official looking legal document that said "Chattel Mortgage" (ever seen that term since law school?). It was a loan my father made to the owner of the Ken Theatre in Kensington so he could buy a new coke dispensing machine, secured by all the theatre equipment. The loan was $200. It was dated 1946. The most surprising part was that my father had $200 to loan in 1946.

Submitted by NotCranky on April 6, 2014 - 9:37pm.

I was really angry about turning 40, but I got over it by the time I was 47. Probably took a few years off my life being pissed off.

Now I have much better perspective, lots of people die by the time they are 50 and anyone could go at any time ,really....lucky to get another healthy day.

Submitted by an on April 6, 2014 - 11:37pm.

Holy Sh... you are old :-P. I remember making fun of my cousin when she turned 25. Once I turned 25, I didn't think it was as funny. Now, I accept that there's nothing I can do about aging, so why not enjoy the new "wisdom" :-).

Submitted by flyer on April 7, 2014 - 2:11am.

We've all been young, and we'll all be old. I've never worried about age, and still don't, since I know there's nothing I can do about it. My wife feels the same way.

Might have something to do with our spiritual beliefs, or maybe we don't feel the need to worry about something we know we can't change.

Really like this quote:

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2014 - 6:32am.

flyer wrote:
We've all been young, and we'll all be old. I've never worried about age, and still don't, since I know there's nothing I can do about it. My wife feels the same way.

Might have something to do with our spiritual beliefs, or maybe we don't feel the need to worry about something we know we can't change.

Really like this quote:

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."

still, regardless of the quality, most people cling to life when it's time to go, regardless of belief...

Submitted by svelte on April 7, 2014 - 6:40am.

Don't get me wrong...there are things I enjoy about getting older. The wisdom, the money, and the grandkids to name but three.

But what really, really spooks me is that there no longer seems to be an infinite amount of time left. We've done very well at doing everything we have wanted to do, but the more we pack in the faster time goes. Time just flies by now and it flies faster with each passing month. And the more it flies, the closer to the end we get. It almost feels like I have less and less control. Like riding a cardboard box down a hill...as speed picks up, the less I can maneuver.

I guess that is a good thing - it means we are having fun. If we weren't time would drag. :-)

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2014 - 6:46am.

svelte wrote:
Don't get me wrong...there are things I enjoy about getting older. The wisdom, the money, and the grandkids to name but three.

But what really, really spooks me is that there no longer seems to be an infinite amount of time left. We've done very well at doing everything we have wanted to do, but the more we pack in the faster time goes. Time just flies by now and it flies faster with each passing month. And the more it flies, the closer to the end we get. It almost feels like I have less and less control. Like riding a cardboard box down a hill...as speed picks up, the less I can maneuver.

I guess that is a good thing - it means we are having fun. If we weren't time would drag. :-)

extreme boredom may slow time downa bit.

reading BORDEOM; a lively history by toohey. boredom may actually serve vital purpose in human experience...you may be insiffuciently bored.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2014 - 6:48am.

50 is way freakier than 40 and 30 combined.

50 is the first one that seems liek the end is in sight.

50 is aarp membership eligibility age and you start getting deluged with that stuff..

50 is when your lfie insurance starts to get seriously expensive.

50 is when you are probably past the damn midpoint.

50 is not funny anymore.

luckily, im ok with these things...

Submitted by NotCranky on April 7, 2014 - 7:43am.

I'm 17 years older than my mother was when she died and 6 years older than my father was....I have a 7 year old boy . I am super healthy, I have a lot of gratitude for life now.

Submitted by barnaby33 on April 7, 2014 - 11:10am.

FLU, I've thought you were older than 40 from your very first post. So really you are just now growing into my mental image of you.

Josh

Submitted by CricketOnTheHearth on April 7, 2014 - 6:11pm.

Yeah, 50 was the big boojum for me too.

Like you said above, the feeling really setting in that "I'm running out of time..." and there are so many things I want to do yet.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 7, 2014 - 6:36pm.

Hey cricket.

What do you want to do?

I am having trouble thinking of anything I want to do other than keep doing what I'm doing.

Submitted by svelte on April 8, 2014 - 6:53am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
50 is way freakier than 40 and 30 combined.

50 is the first one that seems liek the end is in sight.

50 is aarp membership eligibility age and you start getting deluged with that stuff..

50 is when your lfie insurance starts to get seriously expensive.

50 is when you are probably past the damn midpoint.

50 is not funny anymore.

luckily, im ok with these things...

+1

AARP has been chasing after me since I was 25. I was never quite sure how they got my age so wrong.

Also I just ordered the Toohey book based on your comment. Let's just hope I find the time to read it. :)

Submitted by ucodegen on April 9, 2014 - 12:43am.

scaredyclassic wrote:
50 is way freakier than 40 and 30 combined.

50 is the first one that seems liek the end is in sight.

50 is aarp membership eligibility age and you start getting deluged with that stuff..

50 is when your lfie insurance starts to get seriously expensive.

50 is when you are probably past the damn midpoint.

50 is not funny anymore.

luckily, im ok with these things...


Forgot, 50 is when Affordable Care Act is really not affordable. Me, umm.. approximately 54, give or take. At least I can still mountain climb, knees are still good. I can bench and curl more weight than I could when I was 18 - so it is not all bad. Vision, well that went a little bit south suddenly a few years ago.

CricketOnTheHearth wrote:

Like you said above, the feeling really setting in that "I'm running out of time..." and there are so many things I want to do yet.

True.

Submitted by FlyerInHi on April 10, 2014 - 11:02am.

40 is not old.

60 is the new 40.

plenty of people on TV are in their 60s and older. And TV is an unforgiving business They have been working for decades.

Jimmy Carter is 89. Looks to be still in great health.

Submitted by zk on April 12, 2014 - 1:42pm.

Yeah, 50 (two years ago for me) was definitely different from 30 or 40.

Here's when I felt like I'd been around a while: I was computing how many days I'd been working for the company I work for (for seniority purposes). I kept getting a number 8 days different from my employer. I'd been counting 365 days in a year. Turns out I wasn't counting the EIGHT leap days since I've been there. Jesus.

Hitting 50 really made me sit down and ask myself what I want out of the rest of my life and what I'm going to do about it. Although it took another couple years to really come to me. Turns out it isn't a bucket list type of deal. Heck, I don't really even feel the need to see the world anymore. I just want to do what I'm doing as long as possible. Spend time with the wife and kid, get in as many rounds of golf, softball games, ping pong games, days at the lake, r/c plane flights, body surfing waves, etc. as I can while I can. Then, if my body can't take that stuff anymore, I guess I'll replace the more strenuous hobbies with less strenuous ones.

Submitted by CA renter on April 13, 2014 - 5:02pm.

Haven't reached 50 yet, but am much closer to it than I'd care to admit. Just being in the mid-40s makes me realize that many things I might have wanted to do are no longer possible or realistic.

This thread is depressing! :(

Submitted by kev374 on April 14, 2014 - 3:11pm.

I turned 40 last month and although I feel I am getting old it's mostly because I have not married or have kids by now and most of my peers have...so in that sense it feels incomplete.

My relationship of 2 years + that I thought was going to end in marriage also ended recently so that was an additional bummer :( Starting all over with the dating scene at my age seems a bit scary.. as it seems like a crapload of work to filter through all the BS that one has to go through with dating.

In any case, my dad turned 80 recently and he is in peak health, enjoys life etc. My Uncle is even older at 87 and is still having a good old time, he still travels and has a beer or two on occasion...so there is hope :) My grandmother is 93 and although a bit frail is still walking around.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 14, 2014 - 7:43pm.

probably many of your peers have already been througha divorce by now! I think there's an advantage for taking things slowly in life. and for not catchng on to things too quickly. i also beleive we all have an internal sense of when the right time for things for us is. so i'd say really, you are meant to be where you are...and everything is going to be aok...

Submitted by UCGal on April 15, 2014 - 7:41am.

I'm over 50. My 40th was much more a bummer than my 50th. My mom was dealing with terminal cancer, Sept 11th had just happened (which definitely puts things in perspective.)

Between 40 and 50 both parents and my brother died of cancer. That puts a sharp focus on mortality. It's when I started obsessing with early retirement... so I don't drone away at a field a no longer love, and then keel over one day, full of regrets.

My husband is older than me by almost 10 years - so I always feel young compared to him. He's more youthful than me in most ways, though. He's got longevity on his side - his dad died last year at 90, his mom is 87 and still going strong, physically.

I relish birthdays - at this point they are indications I'm closer to my retirement and freedom. A time when I'll control my time and activities.

Like Rustico, I've got youngish kids (11 and 13) - so I need to be healthy long enough to get them launched at minimum. Even if I died as young as my mom did (67) I should be able to accomplish that.

Submitted by CDMA ENG on April 15, 2014 - 1:14pm.

UCGal wrote:
I'm over 50. My 40th was much more a bummer than my 50th. My mom was dealing with terminal cancer, Sept 11th had just happened (which definitely puts things in perspective.)

Between 40 and 50 both parents and my brother died of cancer. That puts a sharp focus on mortality. It's when I started obsessing with early retirement... so I don't drone away at a field a no longer love, and then keel over one day, full of regrets.

My husband is older than me by almost 10 years - so I always feel young compared to him. He's more youthful than me in most ways, though. He's got longevity on his side - his dad died last year at 90, his mom is 87 and still going strong, physically.

I relish birthdays - at this point they are indications I'm closer to my retirement and freedom. A time when I'll control my time and activities.

Like Rustico, I've got youngish kids (11 and 13) - so I need to be healthy long enough to get them launched at minimum. Even if I died as young as my mom did (67) I should be able to accomplish that.

Holy cow! That's a terrible story. Sorry to hear all of that UCGal.

My concerns are the same as your for kids though. Gotta at least get them in college before I punch my ticket.

CE

Submitted by CA renter on April 15, 2014 - 9:44pm.

Since UCGal and CE have brought it up, anyone else here feel an incredible sense of worry and anxiety once they had kids? Like UCGal, my family has been overrun by cancer, and I've lived with at least one of my parents having cancer (5 "deadly" cancers between them, plus non-melanoma skin cancers) since I was 13 years old.

I don't ever remember being quite as worried about my own mortality when I was younger, but once I had kids, I've become obsessed with making it until at least my youngest's 18th birthday. Been worried ever since I got pregnant.

Anyone else feel this way?

Submitted by CA renter on April 15, 2014 - 9:47pm.

UCGal, good for you for focusing on early retirement. From everything I've seen here, you are doing everything right WRT your finances. It's good to read about what you're doing and how you're managing everything in order to achieve your goals. You're a great inspiration! :)

Wishing you a very long, happy retirement!

Submitted by scaredyclassic on April 16, 2014 - 6:59am.

Just bought 1 million term policy.

nothing magical about 18.

most of the heavy lifting is done by 7 or so, psychologically speaking.

money is maybe not quite as important as being there, but it's comng up close behind....

Submitted by NotCranky on April 16, 2014 - 7:50am.

We don't have a trust. Some very long term friends agreed that they would take our kids and be executors of the trust and then we just dropped it. I am not sure why...I think I feel guilty about putting that on them even though they agreed. Still in Limbo

Submitted by FlyerInHi on April 16, 2014 - 11:17am.

Lots of ways you can extend life.
Diet, exercise. You,re not training for a marathon. But training for longevity. Since the time horizon is undetermined, it requires a lot more persistence. Plus your persistence maybe in vain in case of accident or a terminal disease. That's a risk.

But the data. is very conclusive. Diet and exercise, not in the sun, can make you look and feel 20 years younger.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/04/16...

Stressful sedentary office work that leaves no time for proper diet and exercise will make you age faster for sure.

I'm 47. Through observing other people, I believe there is a vast grey area between 40 and 70. State of mind and health determine how you look and feel. I can do everything I did when I was 30. I'm just wiser now. It gets easier everyday because when I compare myself to my peers the same age, I get confirmation and reinforcement that I'm doing the right things. Success is all relative to the people around you.

Would you ban toxins such as sodas, hot dogs, etc. from your life if you can live longer? If you won't, maybe you don't deserve to live longer.

In terms of real estate, think of a 70 year old neighborhood. It would be gorgeous if the houses are meticulously maintained. But if the houses are not maintained, blight creeps in, and eventually the neighborhood is fubar.

Submitted by CA renter on April 16, 2014 - 7:05pm.

scaredyclassic wrote:
Just bought 1 million term policy.

nothing magical about 18.

most of the heavy lifting is done by 7 or so, psychologically speaking.

money is maybe not quite as important as being there, but it's comng up close behind....

Yep, we just got additional term life policies, too. Already had term life policies, but added to them and these new ones will extend longer, so our kids should be able to make it through college, age-wise, with this.

Still, I fear leaving them; sometimes, I worry way too much about this.

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