Are we raising helpless kids?

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Submitted by lifeisgood on December 26, 2013 - 3:32pm

Awesome article. Please comment

I really agree with this article. I received the link from a PUSD Administrator. As I'm not a parent, it is difficult to have a real opinion on how to raise a child. What do you parents think out there? Do we have a sense of entitlement built into our child's expectations these days? Or are we overreacting about todays youth and their expectations? Are parents today more susceptible to side with the child over the teacher or the teacher over the child? What say you?

Submitted by scaredyclassic on December 26, 2013 - 3:51pm.

Just know my kids and their friends.

Strongly disagree. They are sharper and more diligent than my peers were.

They are hopeful but not entitled.

My kid go a c plus on his 1st calculus test at sdsu but finished the class with an A- . We told him to figure that shit out or we we weren't paying.

Submitted by NotCranky on December 26, 2013 - 5:02pm.

Spoiled children and a country that has less to offer them then it did to generations before.....double whammy.

Submitted by Reality on December 26, 2013 - 9:01pm.

It mentions parents doing the kid's homework. My sister went even further, taking an online college course for each of her two kids.

Submitted by flyer on December 26, 2013 - 9:45pm.

From what we've seen with our kids and their friends, who are now in their late 20's, is that, the "success rate," i.e.--achieving your dreams in life--is about 50/50--even with the very best education money can buy, and other advantages. Dont' know if that ratio will become better or worse as time goes on.

Whether young people consider themselves to be "spoiled," "entitled," or anything else, won't make much difference in the real world. In the final analysis, as all things in life, regardless of whom or what is at "fault," you either get what you want in life, or you don't, and young people will find there are few exceptions.

Submitted by lifeisgood on December 27, 2013 - 3:02pm.

We all know that todays economy and job market are not as good as it has been in the past. Wouldn't it be a realistic argument that today kids should be better prepared for failure than any other generation in our history? With that said, shouldn't we as parents tell our kids the truth when it comes to their abilities? We as parents should instill a sense of reality into our children to ensure that they understand that they can't have or achieve everything that they want. Being realistic is one of the hardest things to overcome as a parent. My mother had three boys and we were all different regardless of the raising that she gave us. She tried her best to tell us that the real world sucked and that no one cares about you as much as your family. To this day I still remember this. I don't expect anything to be given to me, only to be earned. I hear a lot of kids that have a hard time finding a job complaining about the salary that was offered. What ever happened to working from the bottom to earn a way to the top? American kids today have a sense of entitlement and as long as that continues, we will see more and more chinese and indians being hired by companies like Qualcom and others. The Chinese and Indians will work long hours and not complain. I don't feel like American children would do the same thing without complaining. It's almost like you can't blame the big companies to hire outside of the U.S.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on December 27, 2013 - 3:53pm.

Legal marijuana will employ many.

Submitted by ucodegen on December 28, 2013 - 9:57pm.

6packscaredy wrote:
Just know my kids and their friends.

Strongly disagree. They are sharper and more diligent than my peers were.

They are hopeful but not entitled.

My kid go a c plus on his 1st calculus test at sdsu but finished the class with an A- . We told him to figure that shit out or we we weren't paying.

What I have seen is the split between the diligent and hard working vs. the self-entitled children has widened. I take your calculus kid and raise you a Community College Sophomore who will need to retake beginning Algebra... yet again. Parents thought that everything would be hunky-dory if they were really nice and got him what he wanted. Don't even get me started on this kids language and writing skills. The kid is not stupid, just very lazy and will only do the least possible. Could be that your terms (not paying for C or below) might have been the motivation?

PS: I was one of the 'other' kids. I completed HS having already taken Calculus. There were diligent and self-entitled 'back then'. I just seem to see more self-entitled now.

Submitted by SK in CV on December 29, 2013 - 8:36am.

I really don't know much about what other parents do, or how other kids have ended up. What I do know is that the article's list of "where did we go wrong" is nothing like what my dear ex-wife and I did as parents, nor nothing like what my kids experienced growing up. They're in their mid-20's now, and for the most part, self-sufficient and have been for a few years. The list reminds me of kids I knew growing up. I'm not sure the generation referenced is all that different from mine. I can't say with any certainty that kids that grew up like that are failures as adults any more than kids who didn't are successes. I have two kids that grew up in the same house and couldn't be more different. I suspect a whole lot of it comes from inside the kid, what they're born with. It's more a parent's job not to screw it up.

Submitted by scaredyclassic on December 29, 2013 - 10:24am.

Reading My friend Dahmer, a comic book about a guy who grew up with jeffrey in the 70s.

Things sucked then.

Submitted by joec on January 3, 2014 - 8:39pm.

I think part of this is just due to society and America and simply because parent's could. Some of the depression era parents or WW2 folks or America booming after WW2 because all of Europe's manufacturing was bombed and destroyed made the 50s - 90s great for America. It's the situation of the rest of the world and the parents living through a tougher time. Since the parents had it tough, the kids were sheltered and told they can do/have whatever because the parents could provide a more sheltered / safer life.

I honestly think a lot of this is REALLY out of everyone's control actually. It's sorta the luck of the draw of when you graduate, when you live, where you live, etc...

Like some of the kids graduating now, through no fault of their own, they will probably NEVER make more than say someone from 5-10 years ago simply because the economy isn't as good and the guy 10 years ago is already established in a higher paying/better job than the new guy.

The Chinese/Indian kid works harder because they come from an environment where the competition is tougher/harder or their life is just harder that they don't want to go back to that.

Sorta like if you play sports and everyone is simply better, you tend to be better too since that's your training/competition.

The Chinese or Indian immigrant grew up from more humble tougher beginnings and simply wants it more than most native born American.

This pisses off a lot of non-immigrant asian people, but in a few years, these new people would be behind as well probably...however, the difference is that asian families tend to help their kids far more than the typical white person I think so the asians will still be buying up all the nice area homes etc since the parents will help them.

Overall, for most Americans, just based on where they were in standard of living before, inequality, tax laws and all the hands to feed, future prospects would probably be lower than say China which has improved probably the quality of life for more folks (totally guessing here)...assuming they were on a farm with no running water, etc...

Just boils down to how great things were already.

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